How to Have (Or Not Have) SEX in Hostels (2019 UPDATE)

Updated: 12/20/2018 | December 20th, 2018

12/20/2018 | December 20th, 2018

There you are. Sitting across from some foreign hottie in your hostel. You’re staring deeply into each other’s eyes when you realize you are both conveying the same thought: “Let’s have sex.”

No one wants to spend a year traveling around the world and not come back with at least one story of overseas romance. Magical nights spent in exotic cities, two souls exploring the world together. Or at least one drunken night in that hostel in Europe.

Kindred spirits abound on the travel trail, and people are constantly starting and ending relationships – sometimes in the same day. So there you are, in that hostel with your new romance – what do you do? Where will you go? Well, here are some do’s and don’ts for having sex in a hostel:

DO head to the bathroom.
This is a perfect place to do the nasty. You can lock the door, and the shower makes for easy cleanup. It’s also less likely someone will come in and bother you here than in a dorm room.

DON’T have sex in the common room.
After a long day of sightseeing, you don’t want to come back, sit down on the couch, and think, “Ewww…why is this couch sticky?” Do us all a favor and head somewhere you won’t leave a mark…at least not one people will sit in. Try the closet where the hostel keeps cleaning supplies. No one will bother you there. I’ve walked in on people in the common room and just think, “Gross.” Plus, people hang out, eat, and drink in the common room all day. It’s probably not that clean to begin with.

DO head to the roof.
Tons of awesome hostels have rooftop terraces, and many are kept unlocked. No one is going to bother you (unless they get the same idea – maybe “the more the merrier” is a philosophy you take with you all the time?). Bump uglies under the stars all night long. It will be the most romantic time you have in a hostel.

DON’T have sex on the top bunk.
You’ll shake the bed. It will creak. You’ll wake everyone up, especially your bunkmate. It’s just rude – there are other places to go. Don’t be that guy or girl!

DO drape sheets over your bed. 
I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen sheets hanging over the bottom bunk in a dorm room. Couples think they are being coy, but we all know what is going on behind the sheets. However, your dormmates will appreciate when you hang a sheet around the bed because no one wants to see your butt bouncing up and down like a teenager thinking his parents aren’t home.

DON’T have sex in the kitchen. 
Seriously. I mean it. People eat there. The only white sauce I want on my pasta is made out of cheese. Hostel kitchens are dirty enough; there’s no need to make them dirtier. Additionally, there are people in a kitchen 24 hours a day so there’s little chance you’ll have privacy. Don’t have sex in the kitchen. Think of it as the hostel’s champagne room. There is no sex in the champagne room.

DO wait until people go to bed. 
If you wait until late at night, there’s less of a chance that people will hear you have sex in your dorm. Okay, someone will probably hear you. They might even watch; you never know. But if you wait until your dormmates put in earplugs and fall into a comfy drunk sleep, the chances of you waking someone are pretty low. Unless, of course, you’re a screamer. Then there’s no hope.

DON’T do it in the evening. 
This is the WORST time to have sex. People are coming in from a day of sightseeing. They’re eating dinner. Getting ready to go out. Posting pictures on Instagram. The hostel is bursting with life in the early evening. Bottom line: Unless you want to show people your bottom and possibly get kicked out in the process, wait a few hours until everyone goes out for the night (see tip below).

DO wait until people go out for the evening. When nighttime rolls around and everyone goes out to socialize, there’s no one around to bother you and your special someone while you play a quiet game of hide the sausage.

DON’T have sex in the morning. 
Everyone is getting up or sleeping off their hangovers. The last thing they want to hear is “Ohhh I’m almost there” or, more likely, “I usually last a little longer.” Waking people up by getting jiggy with it is a sure-fire way to leave a hostel with no friends. Except for that creepy guy who wouldn’t stop staring.

DO get it on in the laundry room.
It will be empty, especially at night, so you’ll have your own private space. Put a few coins in the machine for some extra fun.

DON’T do it in a small room. 
If you are in a 24-person dorm, it will be easy to get away with doing it. Most people aren’t going to realize who is doing what if you’re in a huge dorm, but in a small room, it’s easy to annoy your roommates. People will figure it out, you’ll keep them up, and you’ll make enemies. I’ve stayed in 40-bed dorms where it’s hard to hear anything over the 10 people snoring like freight trains, but in that 6-bed dorm? You know who is doing what!

DO get your own room! 
I know you are traveling on a budget and a private room is expensive, but when two of you split the cost of a room, it’s not so bad. For a few extra dollars a night, you and your lover can have complete privacy. You can do it until you are blue in the face without having to worry about getting caught.

DON’T forget to wear a condom. 
Because photos and memories are the only thing you want to bring home from your holiday.

So remember, if you are going to have sex in a hostel, make sure you have sex the right way – without bothering the rest of the hostel. No one wants to see your ass. It’s not pretty. In fact, when was the last time you got a tan? It’s looking a little white. I’ve seen some crazy stuff in hostels, but seeing you having sex is something no one wants to see!

Be a courteous hostel guest!

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay elsewhere, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

• World Nomads (for everyone below 70)
• Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with?
Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

Hosteling for Baby Boomers

Updated: 07/22/2019 | July 22, 2019

Many people believe that hostels cater only to 20-something backpackers — but that’s simply a myth. You’ll find all sorts of people from all different walks of life staying in hostels, and for most, the perks of cheap, reliable accommodation are too good to pass up.

In this guest post, Barbara Weibel of Hole in the Donut Cultural Travel tears down all the negative hostel stereotypes and tells us why they’re actually a great option for baby boomers.

When I explain to people that I usually stay in hostels during my travels around the world, the initial reaction from most baby boomers is astonishment verging on horror.

“Aren’t they filthy?”

“Don’t you have to put up with a bunch of drunken twenty-somethings who party all night long?”

“Are they really safe?”

Due to the number of budget hotels and motels spread across America, hostels have never really caught on in the U.S. as they have in other countries. According to Hostelling International-USA, only about 350 of the 10,000 hostels found around the world are located in the United States, so American unfamiliarity with them is hardly surprising.

For those who don’t know, hostels are budget accommodations where guests can rent a bed, usually a bunk bed, in a dormitory. While configurations vary, most common are dorms with four, eight, and 16 bunks.

Dorms are usually mixed gender, though in recent years many hostels have begun offering female only dorms. I’ve slept in both and never felt the least bit uncomfortable.

Each dorm shares a bathroom, and guests have access to a fully equipped kitchen where they can refrigerate groceries and prepare their own meals. There is almost always a common lounge or gathering area where people from all nationalities can mingle and share meals.

Additionally, many hostels now offer private rooms with en-suite bathrooms. (That they even have private facilities is one of the best-kept secrets about hostels. Most people I tell are shocked.)

Many hostels even offer family rooms for up to four people. Of course, these private and family rooms have equal access to all the common areas enjoyed by dorm guests.

My preference for hostels began out of necessity. As a corporate dropout determined to recreate myself into an independent travel writer and photographer, I had to watch every penny. I set out on my first round-the-world journey in early 2007. Arriving in Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam, with a reservation at a cheap hotel for the first two nights, it didn’t take me long to find the backpacker district and switch to the cheaper digs.

Initially, I chose private rooms with en-suite bathrooms but I soon switched to the more economically priced dorm beds. All my worries about unclean conditions, bugs, and being kept awake by boisterous hostel mates were for naught. My accommodations were always clean, bug-free, and fairly quiet.

In the beginning, I also worried about being accepted. I envisioned a bunch of twenty- and thirty-year-olds thinking, “What’s this old broad doing in our dorm room?”

I soon discovered that this fear was only in my mind.

I’ve developed wonderful friendships with people of all ages by staying in dorms.

In Ecuador, I met a 30-something teacher who subsequently invited me to visit her in Lima, Peru. She and her mother spent an entire day showing me around Lima, including treating me to lunch at their oceanfront Country Club.

In Nepal, I met a 50-something woman from England who became such a dear friend that we later spent a month traveling together around Ireland and Northern Ireland. I even shared a bunk with an 80-something woman in Mexico – and she took the upper bunk!

One of the biggest hostel secrets I’ve discovered is that you can book a two-bed dorm room, and unless it’s a holiday or other high-traffic time, you’ll almost always have the room to yourself. For some reason, hostels hesitate to book a second person into a two-bedroom if they have alternate beds available.

What to Expect in a Hostel

Hostels are safe, well staffed, usually well located, and generally offer a free breakfast. Most offer metal lockers to secure your possessions while you’re away for the day, but be sure to bring along your own padlock.

While more and more are providing bath towels, many still charge extra or don’t have towels available, so it’s a good idea to carry a camp towel with you. Some have laundry facilities and travel libraries where travelers can swap books. A few I’ve stayed in even had hot tubs, barbecues, and beaches at their front doors.

Despite the persistent stereotype, I’ve never been kept up by drunken partygoers. For the most part, my dormmates have been delightful and considerate. As for creepy-crawlies, I’ve never even seen a bedbug. Hostels, in general, are clean, but be sure to read customer reviews and the hostel’s conditions before booking.

I have run across a few hostels that won’t accept guests over 40, and the reviews will clearly indicate whether a property is a “party hostel” – I stay far away from those.

For solo travelers, couples, families, and friends traveling together, hostels offer a marvelous, eclectic experience, but the biggest benefit is the people you will meet. During my many years of travel, I can honestly say I’ve never met anyone interesting at a hotel.

But I can’t even count the number of friends I have all over the world as a result of staying in hostels.

After years of working at jobs that paid the bills but brought no joy, baby boomer Barbara Weibel walked away from corporate life in 2007 to pursue the only things she’d ever wanted to do: writing, photography, and travel. Since then she has traveled solo to 98 countries on six continents, including every country in Europe. Learn how much it costs her to travel around the world full time and read her fascinating stories about immersing with cultures around the world on her popular travel blog, Hole in the Donut Cultural Travel.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

• World Nomads (for everyone below 70)
• Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with?
Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and that will save you time and money too!

My Hostel Horror Story: My Roommate Shit in Our Dorm Room

Posted: 10/30/2012 | October 30th, 2012

Over the years, I’ve had some bad hostel roommates. They’ve been rude, messy, dirty, smelly, drunk, loud, and everything in between. Two girls in New Zealand were so bad they inspired me to write a post on hostel etiquette. But through it all, I’ve kept staying at hostels. I love hostels because of their gregarious social atmosphere. Hotels seem too sterile when compared with the energy and camaraderie of hostels. As I’ve gotten older, more set in my ways, and have become a lighter sleeper, I’ve often thought to myself, “Why do I stay in dorm rooms? I’m so over them.” But then I book one more night because I don’t want to pay extra for a private room. (Though I do get out of hostels and into hotels when I need a work break).

But that feeling changed when I had the shittiest roommate of all time. Hostel dorm rooms and I are now on an indefinite break.

Let me explain why (and warn you now that I wouldn’t be eating while reading this):

It all began on a lovely Barcelona Monday morning in September. I was enjoying a nice sleep, dreaming one of my typical surreal dreams — dreams that have me being Batman one moment and escaping aliens on ancient clipper ships in another. Awoken by a loud banging from using my superpowers to fight bad guys, I looked at my phone: 7:30am. The banging from the door continued. Groggy from sleep, I woke up, wished someone else had heard the noise instead of me, got out of bed, and opened the door. My Brazilian dorm mate standing in his towel said, “Sorry,” and rushed into the room.

This was the latest event on a long list of weekend rudeness. I was traveling with my friend Kiersten, and we had been staying four nights in a dorm with this Brazilian and his friend. They snored, turned the lights on at night, came home drunk, talked loudly, proposed marriage to Kiersten, and were very messy. We were happy to be checking out of the room that day.

After letting the Brazilian in, I went back to my bed, and just as I was about to lie down, I caught an odious whiff of something. “What is that smell? Why does it smell like shit?” I said to myself. I looked everywhere and couldn’t place it. I hadn’t pooped myself in my sleep. Being half asleep only added to my confusion.

“What is going on?”

I was perplexed.

Then I smelled my hand.

“Why does my hand smell like shit?” I thought.

I was now even more confused. I got back up and turned on the lights to the dorm.

And that’s when I noticed it. I had shit on my hand.

Because there was shit on the door handle.

And a poop trail back to the large Brazilian’s bed.

I stared in shock at my hand and turned to him. Catching my gaze, he looked at me and said, “I just got in, dude. I just got in!!!” He was playing dumb.

Now I understood why he was showering so early in the morning — he had shit himself, touched the doorknob on the way to the bathroom (in what I can only hope was a drunken accident because who would do that on purpose?!), and locked himself out of the room, leaving me as the unfortunate roommate to open the door. One can only imagine the reaction (eardrum-shattering shrieks) if one of the girls in the dorm had been the unfortunate one.

“I just got in, dude,” was all he kept saying to me, trying to pretend that he wasn’t clearly the cause of this mess.

“You shit yourself in bed and then grabbed the door handle! That is fucking disgusting! And just rude!” I swore, horrified and disgusted by this whole event.

I ran to the bathroom and sanitized the crap out of my hand (pun intended). I scrubbed to what felt like the bone. Grabbing a roll of toilet paper, I walked back to the room, noticed a dirty mattress outside the room, and opened the door.

The trail of shit to the bed was gone, but the inner door knob was not clean. “It wasn’t me,” the Brazilian guy said, trying to prove his innocence despite being caught in the act of cleaning the scene of his crime. Disgusted, I cleaned the doorknob myself, using all my remaining hand sanitizer and toilet paper.

I went back and washed my hands again, and then again, and then once more for good measure.

As I went back to the room, I looked into the dorm next door, as the door was wide open. Not a bed was missing. Inside my dorm, the Brazilian had fallen into a drunken sleep on a mattress. To this day, I still don’t know where that mattress in the hall came from. My roommate had managed to find a clean mattress somehow.

Back in my newly cleaned room, I lay back down on my bed and tried to sleep a little more.

Kiersten, who was in the dorm above me, didn’t believe me when I told her this story later in the morning, but upon seeing a missed poop stain on the floor and a brown handprint on my dorm curtain (which I innocently grabbed before I knew what was on my hand and ripped off my bed after I knew), she freaked out and exclaimed, “Thank God we are checking out today.”

As we left the hostel that day, I hailed a cab.

“The W Hotel,” I said.

As I stepped into the cab, I couldn’t have been happier to move from a hostel to a hotel. A shit-free future awaited me.

P.S. I’m not naming the hostel because it’s a really good one, and I had a great time there. This could have happened to anyone in any dorm in the world.

P.P.S. There were curtains on the bunk beds so people wouldn’t wake up, and light was already coming into the room from the poorly shaded window, so I wasn’t worried about waking anyone up.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines. Start with Momondo.

Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel in Barcelona with Hostelworld. If you want to stay elsewhere, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates. (Here’s the proof.)

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. I never ever go on a trip without it. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. You should too.

Need Some Gear?
Check out our resource page for the best companies to use!

Want More Information on Barcelona?
Be sure to visit my robust guide to Barcelona for even more planning tips!

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