A Valborg Day Bonfire: The Traditional Swedish Welcoming of Spring

While I was in Sweden, I got to experience Valborg Day, the traditional Swedish welcoming of spring. This day occurs on April 30th and is a time of festivity, food, music, friends, nature, and huge bonfires. In fact, it seems for most Swedes, the whole day is one giant excuse to drink and light a huge fire.

In old times, the bonfires were used to scare away predators before the farm animals were let out to graze at the start of spring. Now, the day has become a holiday where Swedes, long attached to nature and the changing seasons, celebrate the end of winter with a big party. Many Swedes head out into the country to party with their friends. Celebrations often start with a breakfast including champagne and strawberries in a park.

Most towns have celebrations featuring traditional music, dancing, and a bonfire. The biggest celebration occurs in the university town of Uppsala, where over 100,000 people come to celebrate Valborg. Uppsala also features students rafting on the Fyrisån River through the town center with homemade, themed, decorated rafts, which usually break and collapse by the end of the race. Needless to say, this is a giant celebration and especially good for those looking to party.

I didn’t go to Uppsala, though. I went to the more traditional Valborg celebration in Skansen. Skansen is an area in Stockholm with a traditional village, zoo, garden, and hiking trails. During Valborg, they have traditional dancing, music, vendors, and of course, a big bonfire. I enjoyed the music and dancing even though I didn’t understand what they were saying. Before the bonfire is lit, there was a very long speech about the coming spring, the holiday’s history, and how the bonfire helps chase away evil spirits. The Swedes seemed as bored as I was, and when the bonfire lighting began, the crowd erupted with joy. After all, the fire was pretty amazing:

The music is a Swedish folk song by Yvonne Roome. If you want to see more of my travel videos, check out my YouTube page.

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Living Lagom in Sweden: An Interview With Lola Akerstrom

Back in 2006, during my first trip around the world, I met a Swedish girl. We traveled together for a bit and the following year I went to visit her in Sweden. Though that relationship didn’t last, my love for Sweden did and, in subsequent years, I learned Swedish and even tried to move to Sweden. I love everything Swedish. And so does my friend Lola. Lola and I met back in 2008 when travel blogging was in its infancy. Unlike me, she’s had success in making a life in Sweden, where she now lives with her husband and son. She’s one of the favorite people in the industry and I love the imagery in her writing and the beauty in her photography.

In her new book, Lagom, she discusses life in Sweden and Swedish culture. Today, I jealously interview her about life there.

Nomadic Matt: Tell everyone a bit about yourself.
Lola: I’m a Nigerian-born, US-educated, Sweden-based writer and photographer focusing mostly on exploring culture through food, tradition, and lifestyles. My photography is represented by National Geographic Creative, and I was recently awarded the prestigious 2018 Travel Photographer of the Year Bill Muster Award from the Society of American Travel Writers (SATW).

I actually took a nontraditional path to this new life, as I worked as a web programmer and GIS system architect for 12+ years before the full career shift into the travel media industry.

I’ve always been fascinated by the nuances of culture: what makes us different and what our similarities are. And so this curiosity and acknowledgement really underpins pretty much all my work as a travel writer and photographer.

How did you end up in Sweden?
I met my husband in 2006 while living in the US. After logging thousands upon thousands of air miles, as well as temporary stints in Stockholm, I officially moved over in 2009. It really was an intercultural, interracial, and intercontinental union in many ways. We now have two kids, so Sweden will be home for a while for many reasons, the prime one being that it’s pretty darn perfect for families.

How do you find life in Sweden? Good? Bad?
Life in Sweden is what you make of it, and that’s why I also wrote this book — as a handy cultural guide that can help you integrate and deeply understand Swedish culture and its nuances. Having lived in both Nigeria and the US for extended periods of time, I appreciate living here with a young family. Overall, the quality of life is fantastic in terms of stress levels. There is enough time to dedicate to the family, as well as generous benefits, which we all contribute to through our taxes.

What’s your least favorite part about living in Sweden?
I often say Sweden is the most open society run by the most private people, and I explain why in the book. Sweden does have its dark sides, and I always say the main difference is this: I can be like Oprah Winfrey if I want to as a black woman in the US, despite all the racial tensions. In Sweden, while you’ll be left in a small corner to live your happy life, trying to be a CEO or magnate like Oprah is a gargantuan task. There are people who still don’t get called for job interviews because of the names on their résumés. So overall, while I love living here, no society is perfect, and Sweden has a lot of integration issues it needs to work out.

Why did you write this book?
So, the Swedish word lagom has recently emerged as the lifestyle trend of 2017 and of course, publishers are jumping on it with different lifestyle books — from recipes to interior decor.

But I needed to put a book out there that was beyond cinnamon bun recipes, because lagom is not a word that is warmly embraced or even liked by many Swedes themselves for various reasons, including the fact the ethos has over time morphed to denote average, boring, and middle-of-the-road. I detail all this in the book, as well as explain why lagom itself is inherently a good ideal as opposed to jante, which is the negative parasitic ethos that attaches itself to lagom and brings the negativity. But it is the key to understanding the Swedish mindset.

I have been living in Sweden for eight years, and writing about the country and its culture for even longer. I am also married to a Swede and have a unique vantage point of observing the culture both objectively and subjectively. So I explain lagom in a way that a foreigner fully gets it, as well as holding up a mirror to Swedes so they see how lagom is expressed in interactions with other people. It can be very difficult to write about something that’s very intrinsic to you in a way that others can fully understand without coming off as patronizing and condescending.

It really governs the Swedish psyche, and individual bubbles of lagom are definitely changing and morphing with each passing generation.

I needed to write a well-balanced cultural book that could still stand once the Scandi-trends wave washed over.

What does lagom mean and why is it important?
On the surface, lagom is often described as “not too little, not too much, just right,” but it’s a lot more nuanced than that and lies closer to “optimal.” It is the key to unlocking the Swedish psyche and governs almost all aspects of life and culture in the country.

It also transforms its meaning in different contexts — from “less is more” in terms of décor and “moderation” in terms of food to “harmony and balance” in terms of society and “mindfulness” in terms of well-being.

If one were to boil down the true essence of lagom to its very core, it means striving for the ultimate balance in life that, when applied to all aspects of one’s existence, can help guide you toward operating at your most natural, effortless state.

The state and measurement of lagom mean different things to different folks. My satisfaction may vary from yours, but we can both be satisfied. Lagom represents the ultimate sweet spot or golden mean in your own life, and more importantly, it encourages you to fully operate within that sweet spot that’s just right for you.

For travelers to Sweden, how can they detect lagom at work or play?
Many people often describe Swedes (in Sweden, not outside of Sweden) as reserved, inaccessible, and maybe even cold and flippant, but it’s often just lagom’s mindfulness at play. Locals will give you your space and ensure you’re not inconvenienced by their presence. So, Swedes naturally keep their distance from a place of mindfulness, not because they don’t want to be around you. (Outside of Sweden, they are quick to ditch lagom in social settings.)

At work, lagom is always looking for the best solution, so there’s a lot of planning, lots of meetings, lots of consensus, lots of teamwork, you get the gist… to make sure they arrive at the optimal, lagom solution to all problems.

For example: Many foreigners working or doing business in Sweden often lament the amount of time Swedes put into upfront planning and preparation. Agendas are triple-checked, and several meetings are called to plan every single item on said agendas. Plans can take months to put in place before moving to the next step of implementing each item on those plans.

For a culture that prides itself on efficiency, it could seem these inherent acts of zealous planning are counterproductive, and they can be seen as wasting time and resources. However, because lagom craves balance by trimming excess around its edges, it requires adequate planning. “Adequate” is measured by whatever it takes to prune irrelevance, regardless of how long it takes.

To be efficient means to perform and function in the most optimal manner possible with the least waste of time, resources, and energy. This very definition of efficiency mirrors the core of lagom.

So lagom says it is perfectly OK to spend as much time as needed to prepare ourselves and strongly develop our plans, because that’s the only way we can guarantee efficiency.

For travelers who would like to date a Swede, how can understanding lagom help them?
Swedes don’t naturally divulge information or overshare, so sometimes it can be hard to even gauge or assess what’s going on in a relationship. And it’s not a culture that overly gesticulates with hands or uses flattering words, so knowing if a Swede is interested in you can be denoted by their unusually prolonged eye contact.

So, when out on a date, always have follow-up questions to keep the conversation going and to avoid your date awkwardly ending at “yes or no” answers. Because they will do so, in an effort not to overshare without being asked.

For someone going on a date expecting to be lavishly wined and dined, Swedes are generally conditioned to split their bills, to always repay favors, and to not be duty-bound to anyone, especially financially, by keeping that scale balanced. So this can come as a nasty surprise at the end of the night if you haven’t discussed it before the waiter brings out the menu.

And if you’re in relationship with a Swede and have issues or questions, just ask straight out because Swedes are very direct. And be prepared for those direct answers!

Why are people so fascinated with Sweden?
I think a lot of the fascination comes from the quality of life and just how progressive the society is. Another more superficial angle has to do with physicality — from people and landscapes to interior décor and architecture. I mean, the city of Stockholm itself is absolutely stunning, and it spreads across 14 islands, which you can view from some nice vantage points in town. Sweden consistently ranks in the top 10 happiest countries, so there are clearly things Sweden is getting right.

What’s the one thing you want people to take away from your book?
Lagom is a mindset that fundamentally battles stress. Having too much or too little causes stress, so lagom tries to find its balance between both with the optimal solution by reducing excess. Not perfection, but the best solution.

Think of it as a scale that always needs to be balanced. Too much or too little tips the scale sharply to one side or the other, so lagom balances itself (“just right”) by trimming excess and getting rid of all sources of stress within our control — from material things to relationships that drain us.

Lola A. Åkerström is an award-winning writer, speaker, and photographer with National Geographic Creative. She regularly contributes to high profile publications such as AFAR, the BBC, The Guardian, Lonely Planet, Travel + Leisure, and National Geographic Traveler. Lola is also the editor of Slow Travel Stockholm, an online magazine dedicated to exploring Sweden’s capital city in depth. She lives in Stockholm and blogs at Geotraveler’s Niche.

You can pick up a copy of her book on Amazon. (It’s really interesting and I highly recommend it!)

The Swedish Birthday Party

As I sat in my tuxedo, taking another sip of Swedish schnapps, I turned to the girl next to me and whispered:

“Why are there so many speeches?”

“At birthday parties like this, it’s common in Swedish culture for people to get up and say nice things,” she said. She paused, looking as the speaker regaled us with stories about the birthday boy, and then leaned into my ear again: “It happens so much that when my parents threw a 65th birthday party, they specifically said ‘no speeches’ because they were tired of hearing the same thing and just wanted to drink.”

Annika, sporting de rigueur Swedish features –  blonde hair, blue eyes, and eyebrows that would make Cara Delevingne jealous – was giving me an intro to Swedish birthday celebrations. Just when the night’s speeches seemed to draw to a conclusion, another person stood up to talk about Erik, the night’s honored guest.

Like me, Erik loves any excuse to throw a swanky party, and, as 30 is a big deal in his family, used it to throw a black tie affair that could compete with a museum gala. Though his birthday is in January, he planned the celebration for July, because, as he so accurately put it, “Who wants to be outside in Sweden in January?!”

The event was held in Stockholm’s Djurgården. Djurgården is one of the largest islands in the city, home to Gröna Lund amusement park, the Vasa Museum, the ABBA Museum, and Skansen (an open-air museum of pre-industrial Swedish life). But, more than its museums, this island is famed for its plethora of running trails and gardens. When the weather is warm and the sun shines, Swedes can be found swarming all over this green oasis.

As I stepped out of my Uber on the far end of Djurgården and followed a tiny stone path, I came to Rosendals Trädgård, a greenhouse-like restaurant where dinner would be held. The city seemed a world away in this farm-like setting with rustic buildings and an orchard. Jaunting down another path, I turned into the orchard, where I saw dozens of other people in tuxedos, ball gowns, and suits. It felt more like a wedding than a birthday party. There, with the sun bright overhead and the wind carrying the smell of flowers, we drank, introduced ourselves to each other, and swapped stories about Erik.

Following the Swedish tradition of sitting single guests next to members of the opposite sex, I found myself paired with the afore mentioned Annika, my Swedish cultural liaison for the evening.

In the U.S., birthday parties don’t frequently feature multiple speeches. There’s a toast, and maybe someone says something nice, but a parade of speeches is often reserved for bigger events — weddings, retirements, engagements, and anniversaries. A 30th birthday typically doesn’t fall into the endless speech category.

As the night progressed, there were drinking songs sung, toasts proffered, bottles of wine consumed, language tips given, and dances danced. The horrible schnapps got easier to drink with each toast, and the meal – made of all local ingredients — became a blur of dishes designed to keep us somewhat sober.

In the Swedish summer, when the sun has barely set a midnight, the constant light beckoned us to stay out longer. So when it started to rise again at 2am and the staff shooed us out the door, we moved the party to a friend’s house before finally stumbling to our respective homes around 6am.

Swedes are often thought of as a cold people — and there is some truth to that. An outwardly stoic culture, Swedes often joke about how they will go out of their way to avoid talking to their neighbors. Striking up conversations with strangers is seen as equally odd.

But underneath that hard exterior, you’ll find a people that are deeply loyal and loving of their friends and family.

Attending Erik’s party reminded me how a simple thing like a birthday party can be a window into a culture. When you witness first-hand how people come together to celebrate, you often see how that culture values relationships.

For example, years ago, I attended a birthday party in Cambodia. It was a free-flowing event that focused so much on the food and the shared meal that it made me really appreciate just how central food was to that culture and how meals were used as a way to strengthen bonds between people.

This night, though, as I watched Erik’s brother recite a poem and his friends sing his favorite drinking songs, I discovered the unreserved side of Swedes. Here, everyone talked about how wonderful my friend was — not to grow his ego but to show their love and appreciation for him and for having him in their lives.

And, as I saw the smile on everyone’s faces and the joy in Erik’s eyes, I thought maybe this was a birthday tradition worth spreading around the world.

P.S. – If you’re going to Stockholm, I just updated my budget guidebook to the city based off my last month stay there! You’ll find suggested itineraries, budgets, ways to save money, on and off the beaten path things to see and do, non-touristy restaurants, bars, and much more!! Click here to learn more.

All photos by Erik’s brother Karl!