5 Super Awesome Lesbian Travel Destinations for 2019

Posted: 2/21/2019 | February 21st, 2019

We want to speak to a wide range of voices on this website so have added an LGBTQ column to talk about travel issues that are important some of our community members. This month, Dani, one of our LGBT columnists, shares the top five lesbian travel destinations in 2019.

I have told you everything you need to know about traveling as a lesbian and how to plan the perfect lesbian-friendly trip, but what about lesbian-friendly destinations? What are the greatest locations for an unforgettable lesbian vacation — where you don’t have to be afraid to get weird stares or have to be careful with PDAs if you’re with your partner.

There are dozens of spots that fit the bill, some of which became more interesting at certain times: Lesbos became popular with gay women when the Sappho Women’s Festival was created in 2000, Los Angeles saw an increase in lesbian travelers when The L Word first aired in 2004, and Madrid was particularly popular with queer visitors during 2017 WorldPride.

So which destinations are having their “lesbian moment” in 2019?

Here are five that welcome LGBT travelers and have something that makes them particularly interesting for lesbians now, no matter if you’re traveling solo or with your significant other. Read on for why I think you should hit up one of them this year:

1. New York City, USA

Why go?: New York City is not only known as one of the gay-friendliest cities in the world and the top-ranked LGBTQ destination in the US but it is where the Stonewall riots kicked off the modern gay liberation movement in 1969.

2019 marks the 50th anniversary of this significant event in LGBT culture, and to commemorate, New York City will host WorldPride in June — the Pride of Prides, a full month of festivities, with over 50 events. It’s the first time in its 20-year history that WorldPride is being held in the United States, and many celebrities are expected to join the festivities, including Madonna, who rang in the 50th anniversary year with a surprise performance at the historic Stonewall Inn bar on New Year’s Eve.

While this is a great excuse to visit NYC this year, there are many more things that make the city attractive for lesbian tourists — from world-class art museums to stunning Broadway productions and dozens of neighborhoods to explore, New York City is always worth a visit. In the summer, you will get to enjoy free performances by the New York Metropolitan Opera and the Philharmonic in the city’s parks, free outdoor movie screenings, and weekend flea markets and food markets. Check out Matt’s 3-day NYC itinerary that covers all of the city’s famous sights and museums.

You’ll also want to check out New York’s lesbian nightlife, including the iconic Cubbyhole Bar and Henrietta Hudson in the West Village, the popular Hot Rabbit party, and a number of Pride parties exclusively for women, such as the Femme Fatale rooftop party.

If you want to learn more about the LGBT history of New York, I recommend this informative LGBTQ History Walking Tour of Greenwich Village.

When to go: June. The biggest event, World Pride Parade, takes place on Sunday, June 30, 2019.

Before you go: Check out the lesbian events calendar before you visit NYC. There are regular lesbian stand-up comedy shows, dance parties, and exquisite drag shows. Events like lesbian speed dating or a comedy show are especially great if you are traveling solo.

2. Montreal, Canada

Why go?: Canada legalized same-sex marriage in 2005 and has been a popular destination for LGBT-travelers ever since, and while cities like Vancouver, Toronto, or Quebec are all LGBT-friendly , Montreal is known as the city with the biggest LGBT nightlife scene and is particularly lesbian-friendly (unlike most other popular LGBT destinations, which usually focus on male clientele). The favorable exchange rate of the Canadian dollar right now also means that a trip there is not too expensive.

Rue Sainte-Catherine is where most of Montreal’s gay nightlife is centered, and it’s the center of “the village,” Montreal’s gayborhood. Sadly, the infamous Le Drugstore, a lesbian bar on eight floors, closed down, but there are still plenty of amazing nightclubs. Don’t miss Complexe Sky, the biggest gay club in all of Canada, whose four floors each have different styles of music; the terrific rooftop terrace includes a pool and hot tub.

No matter if you make it to Montreal in time for Pride or not, I do recommend visiting in the summer, since the city prides itself on an abundance of outdoor activities during the warmer months. The streets are decked with outdoor seating, and you can relax on Jean Dore Beach on the shores of St Lawrence River, just minutes from downtown. Climb up to the top of Mount Royal for sweeping views over the city, marvel at the murals on Boulevard Saint-Laurent, and swing by lesbian-owned industrial warehouse-meets-beer garden Bar Alexandraplatz in the up-and-coming Mile-Ex neighborhood for a cold beer.

When to go?: No dates have been released yet, but there will hopefully be another edition of the popular Slut Island Festival, a feminist-queer DIY music festival that was founded in Montreal in 2013 mainly for performers and audiences who identify as women, trans*, gender-fluid, nonbinary, or people of color. The festival usually occurs in July.

Montreal Pride 2019 happens August 8–18, 2019.

Before you go: LezSpreadTheWord, an organization that publishes the feminist LSTW magazine and created the popular queer web series Féminin/Féminin, hosts the bimonthly girls party “Où sont les femmes?” — try to plan your trip around one of their awesome parties.

3. Mallorca, Spain

Why go?: Mallorca has been a popular holiday destination with Europeans for decades, but in 2012, the Spanish island popped up on the lesbian travel map for the first time thanks to the inaugural Ella Festival in Palma, Mallorca’s capital. In August, the festival celebrates its seventh edition, and no matter if you identify as lesbian, bisexual, queer, transgender, or intersex, every woman is welcome at Ella! You’ll get to enjoy beach parties, concerts, and a number of activities, from paddleboarding to beach volleyball, as well as island excursions.

While most of Mallorca’s LGBT nightlife happens in Palma, I recommend exploring the rest of the island as well. The easiest way to get around is by car, but you can also reach many beautiful beaches and little towns by bus. There are over 260 beaches in Mallorca, but make sure to visit the picturesque small bays of Cala Formentor and Cala Pi, and Cala Mesquida and Playa de Muro for wide sandy beaches. Also worth a visit: the Cap de Formentor lighthouse on the northern tip of Mallorca, and as many as you can of the charming little villages that dot the island, for example, Sóller, Fornalutx, Valledemossa, and Deià.

When to go?: The Ella Festival is August 30–September 6, 2019. Add on a week of island exploration before or after the festival.

Before you go: Check out Lesbian Mallorca, the “lesbian lifestyle directory” of the island, has a great overview of lesbian bars and lesbian-friendly and lesbian-owned restaurants, hotels, and shops.

4. Provincetown, Mass., USA

Why go?: Provincetown, often referred to as P-Town, is a small fishing town at the northern tip of Cape Cod, and it has long been a favorite with LGBT travelers. The charming little seaside destination is a fantastic vacation spot for anyone — straight or gay — with over 200 independent shops, plenty of art galleries, delicious restaurants, and great beaches, but its focus on lesbian travelers and the celebration of freedom of expression are what makes this open-minded community so attractive for girls.

Provincetown has more lesbian-owned businesses per capita than anywhere else in the US, the highest concentration of same-sex households in the US, and many LGBTQ-owned B&Bs and inns. No matter if you are solo or with your partner, there’s something for everyone: Provincetown is home to the oldest gay bar in the US, the A-House; the gayest main street in the world, Commercial Street; one of the top ten gay beaches in the world; and the East End Gallery District, offering world-class art. No matter what time of year you’re visiting, you’re likely to stumble upon one of the town’s many themed weeks or weekends (see below).

The daily tea dance (4–7pm) at the Boatslip, an expansive deck that overlooks Provincetown’s West End Harbor, is something you have to experience once — expect a packed dance floor and great people-watching. You’ll make new friends there for sure.

When to go: Try to plan your visit around one of the many women-focused events, depending which one best fits your preferences and interests: Women’s Media Summit (April 5–7); Single Women’s Weekend (May 17–19); Womxn of Color Weekend (May 30– June 2); Pride (May 31– June 3); Girl Splash (July 23–27); Family Week, the largest annual gathering of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer-identified families in the world (July 27–August 3); the incredible Carnival, which attracts 90,000 visitors (August 15–25); Women’s Week (October 14–20); or the weeklong transgender celebration Fantasia Fair (October 20–27).

Before you go: Since there are so many events year-round, make sure to check what’s going on in P-Town during the dates of your visit. If they happen to be during Carnival, for example, be aware that the town turns into party central. Never arrive without having accommodation booked in advance — B&Bs and hotels tend to fill up quickly.

5. Puerto Rico

Why go?: Just over a year after devastating Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico with full force in September 2017, the island is bouncing back. Almost all hotels are open again, the New York Times just awarded Puerto Rico the #1 spot on its popular 52 Places To Go in 2019 list, and thanks to its status as a United States commonwealth, the legal rights of LGBT citizens (same-sex marriage has been legal since 2015) have had a great influence on Puerto Rico, which is now the gay-friendliest of all Caribbean nations. Especially for Americans, Puerto Rico is an easy getaway: there are plenty of direct flights from East Coast airports (and other US hubs), you don’t need a passport, and it’s a fantastic winter escape, with temperatures around 81° Fahrenheit (27° Celsius) in January.

Both San Juan, the capital, and Ponce, the island’s second largest city, have several gay and LGBT-friendly bars and nightclubs, and last year’s Pride Parade in San Juan attracted more than 5,000 people. Most gay bars are in San Juan’s vibrant Santurce neighborhood. Circo Bar is the most popular, and Oceano is a sophisticated, gay-owned, open-air beach bar across from Condado Beach. While there aren’t any lesbian bars per se (the last one, Cups, closed a few years ago), the go-to place for lesbians is El Cojo Bar (in the Hato Rey district), but all of Puerto Rico’s gay bars welcome women. Also worth a visit are the gay bars Tía María Liquor Store and Splash Lounge.

While San Juan is the best base during your Puerto Rican gay-cation, don’t miss out on the rest of the island. The jungles of El Yunque National Forest will wow those who are usually not into hiking, the underground caves of Río Camuy Cave Park are spectacular, and of course there are dozens of picture-perfect Caribbean beaches all over the island.

A quick ferry ride brings you to Puerto Rico’s hidden gems: the island of Vieques, which is famous for Mosquito Bay, one of the most bioluminescent bays in the world, and Culebra Island, where the turquoise waters at the stunning Playa Flamenco makes all your Caribbean beach dreams come true.

Vieques, a small dreamy island largely untouched by tourism, is especially popular with lesbian travelers. Don’t expect any LGBT nightlife there, but instead serene beaches, unspoiled nature, and even wild horses that roam freely in some parts. TripAdvisor listed Vieques as one of Top 25 Beach Destinations in the world, because the island has “more than 40 beaches and not one traffic light.” If you’re looking for a relaxing hideaway or a lesbian-friendly wedding spot—the W Resort offers same-sex ceremonies—Vieques is the place for you.

When to go: Puerto Rico is a wonderful beach destination during the winter months in the northern hemisphere. Mid-April to June, before the summer rainy season starts, is also a good time to visit — you’ll encounter less crowded beaches and fewer tourists. The gayest event of the year is Puerto Rico Pride, but the date for the 2019 edition has yet to be announced; it usually happens on Memorial Day Weekend.

Before you go: The upscale beachfront Ocean Park area of San Juan is where most LGBT travelers tend to stay. Not far from there is Condado, a pedestrian area with a gay-friendly beach (the stretch facing the gay Atlantic Beach Hotel). TripSavvy has a list of gay and gay-friendly hotels in San Juan.

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Of course, these are not the only places that are worth a trip this year — there are hundreds of others worldwide. You don’t have to trek halfway around the globe to discover new amazing destinations. Why not plan a lesbian city break during Pride weekend in a city nearby? But, out of all the places I’ve visited, I’ve found these had some of my favorite welcoming and vibrant lesbian communities! They shouldn’t be missed.

What are your favorites? Leave a comment and let us know.

Dani Heinrich is the vagabonding writer and photographer behind GlobetrotterGirls.com. Originally from Germany, she has been nomadic since 2010, when she quit her corporate job and embarked on a round-the-world-trip. She has traveled through over 60 countries on four continents and has no plans to stop any time soon! You can also follow her adventures on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hotel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

• World Nomads (for everyone below 70)
• Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with?
Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

Photo credits: 3, 5

How Gay Travel is Different (And Why it Matters)

In an effort to expand the site, I’ve been adding more guest contributors and, today, I’m announcing a LGBT column for the website. In this column, we will hear from voices in the LGBT community about their experiences on the road, safety tips, events, and, overall, advice for other LGBT travelers get the most out of their time on the road! So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce everyone to Adam from travelsofadam.com. He’s going to be the lead for this column (though we’ll shortly have writings from other voices in the community too!).

“Gay” travel can be an awkward topic for many, mostly because to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) is really to be a part of an incredibly diverse group of people. There are gay families who travel, solo gay travelers (like myself), solo lesbian travelers, ones who travel for festivals or nightlife or honeymoons, those that take cruises or splurge on luxury trips, and ones who rough it camping and backpacking in faraway places.

And just like every other type of traveler, we travel for our own personal reasons. Every aspect of what makes us unique also contributes to how, where, and why we travel. I travel because I love to travel, and I just happen to be gay.

That’s not to say I don’t also travel gay. Sometimes my sexuality also influences the how, why, and where I choose to visit a place. For example, I chose Berlin because I’d heard it was a gay hot spot, and I purposefully timed my trip to visit during the city’s annual gay pride celebrations, the Christopher Street Day parade — a time when I knew there’d be plenty of gay parties to attend and guys to meet. I was looking for a gay holiday (a gaycation, if you will), and I found it. Glitter and all.

But what does LGBT travel really mean?

It’s about safety, it’s about comfort, it’s about politics. But it’s also about welcoming events, friendly accommodation, and having fun with similar travelers.

The issues that LGBT travelers face are different than other travelers. To travel as a solo gay guy (hi!) is different than traveling as a lesbian couple or as a transgender person. There are different festivals and events, different meet-ups — and different reasons to worry.

There are still plenty of places around the world where being gay isn’t safe, nor is it comfortable — for locals or for tourists. But that doesn’t mean traveling as an LGBT individual is always dangerous. It’s frequently just a matter of having to know where and when one can disclose one’s sexuality through words or actions, and also the dangers or consequences (if any) for doing so. This is something straight people or opposite-sex couples almost never have to think about.

But in some places I’ve traveled, being gay isn’t even often considered an option. I’ve had awkward taxi rides in Jordan and Egypt, in Thailand and India: “Where’s your girlfriend? Why don’t you have a girl?”

I might respond with a visible sigh, trying to change the subject, or else a simple “I don’t have a girlfriend” and then avert my eyes and make myself look busy. In Jordan, at a café near Petra, one guy’s question was, “You gay?” Short and to the point. I replied with a grin and a “yeah”, and we left it at that, still sharing a bowl of hummus — just a bit quieter now.

Travel safety is different for every individual on every part of the LGBT spectrum. One friend (non-binary, genderfluid, queer identified) described to me an experience on a cruise to the Bahamas, where the ship hosted a “queer hour,” which was, in actuality, mostly heterosexual bachelor and bachelorette parties. And even when this friend tried to be “out” in their supposed safe space, they didn’t feel safe.

That’s not to say it’s all awkward, though. There was the time in Cambodia when I followed a group of backpackers from my hostel to what was supposed to be a cool local bar, the Lao-Lao Beer Garden. Little did I know it was also a hot spot for some of the gay locals, who after realizing I was gay offered me a number of tips for other LGBT things to see in the city.

Traveling somewhere as an LGBT traveler requires you to think about a lot of things:

• What’s the LGBT rights situation of the destination?
• Should I hide my sexuality? What is the safety situation like for openly LGBT travelers?
• What organizations are there for my safety? What is the attitude of the police?
• What LGBT resources are there (websites, newspapers, etc.)?
• Where is the LGBT scene?
• If I’m traveling with a partner, do we need to worry about booking one bed or two, or being more than friends in public?

The crowd-sourced website Equaldex.com curates LGBT rights and news around the world, and 76crimes.com reports on the 76+ countries where homosexuality is still illegal. Even the U.S. State Department publishes a useful page with LGBT travel information.

One of the joys of travel is meeting people and sharing experiences. But for LGBT travelers, it’s not always advisable to out oneself among strangers. Personally, as a gay traveler, I want to know and understand the world I’m in — so I seek out local LGBT organizations, places, events, and meet-ups (Couchsurfing, Meet-Up.com, and local LGBT have good lists of things going on) to learn more about the situation wherever I am.

There are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people all over the world. So when I feel safe to do so, I’m happy to talk about my sexuality, about who I am, with both foreigners and other travelers who might not immediately know another gay man.

All that said, traveling as an LGBT individual today is much easier than it used to be. In many places around the world, being gay isn’t much of a big deal anymore. And I suppose that’s the point about being gay and being a traveler today.

Many gay travelers I’ve spoken to have said the same. We don’t want to be labeled or put in boxes when traveling, and we’re certainly not always stereotypes. But the reality of the world is sometimes it’s just much more comfortable to travel to places already identified as LGBT friendly, to book with gay-friendly hotels, and to seek out other LGBTs abroad.

Over the next few months, I’ll be sharing my gay travel tips and stories here on Nomadic Matt. I’m really excited to share my big gay world of travel with you — it’s a subject often overlooked in the travel world. Pick up any guidebook and you’ll be lucky to find more than one or two gay bars mentioned for a single place, when in reality, there are many, many more (often underground, sometimes seedy, and usually a bit hard to track down).

Stay tuned for future posts about how to meet other LGBT travelers on the road (besides the obvious apps) and my tips for the best gay travel apps, destinations, festivals, and events. Comment below with other topics you’d like to see, or with any questions you might have about traveling as a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person.

Adam Groffman is a former graphic designer who left a publishing job in Boston to travel around the world, before settling in Berlin, Germany. He’s a gay travel expert, writer, and blogger and publishes a series of LGBT-friendly Hipster City Guides from around the world on his gay travel blog, Travels of Adam. When he’s not out exploring the coolest bars and clubs, he’s usually enjoying the local arts and culture scene. Find more of his travel tips (and embarrassing stories) on Twitter @travelsofadam.

P.S. Read about Auston and David, a gay couple traveling around the world, here. Like Adam, they offer lots of tips for LGBT travelers who want to get out and explore the world safely and happily!

The Challenges of Being a Gay Solo Backpacker

In an effort to expand the site, I’ve been adding more guest contributors and, today, I’m announcing a LGBT column for the website. In this column, we will hear from voices in the LGBT community about their experiences on the road, safety tips, events, and, overall, advice for other LGBT travelers get the most out of their time on the road! So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce everyone to Adam from travelsofadam.com. He’s going to be the lead for this column (though we’ll shortly have writings from other voices in the community too!).

Backpacking is one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences that opens you up to the world and allows you to experience new things no matter who or where you are. It can be challenging for every type of traveler, but for LGBT travelers, there are a handful of added, unique challenges. I share not this as a way to scare off gay travelers from backpacking — because it’s truly a rewarding experience — but as a helpful guide for how to best enjoy (gay) backpacking in a safe and fun way.

1. Knowing where to go

First off, there’s the fact of where to travel.

Sure, if you only travel to the most conspicuous gay-friendly destinations, you might find them easier and more attractive in terms of LGBT culture, nightlife, parties, and festivals (and sex). There are hot-spot gay cities and safe choices on every continent — from Mexico City to Madrid, Berlin to Bangkok, Sydney to São Paolo — but there’s even more fun outside the gay bubble.

Just about anywhere can be a “gay travel destination.” (Of course, not everywhere can be a gay-friendly destination.) There is a world of other cities with millions more LGBT individuals. Backpacking opens up that world and is a great way to introduce yourself to new people and new cultures.

Yet, you’ll still find yourself facing some added challenges.

2. Dealing with loneliness

As a minority group, gay people always struggle to feel included. Dealing with loneliness is just an extra challenge when you’re in a foreign environment.

Traveling in Thailand, I found myself staying in Bangkok’s backpacker ghetto (shout-out to Khao San Road!) where, despite the hordes of backpackers, I never did find another gay backpacker to explore the city with. Sure, I found other backpackers interested in the ladyboy bars and strange strip clubs, but I was after a more local experience.

So instead, I found myself venturing out to Bangkok’s gay nightlife in Silom alone. Under ordinary experiences I would never go to a club alone. And yet, here I was — that urge to find something familiar had brought me out of my security shell.

Since the Orlando nightclub shooting last month, there’s been renewed interest in the gay bar as a safe space, a place for fostering and creating LGBTQ communities. And in so many gay bars around the world, if you walk in as a foreigner, you’ll often find yourself immediately comforted by being around others like you.

3. Meeting other LGBT backpackers

While some accommodations exclusively target gay travelers — such as some gay-men-only hostels and gay hotels in Europe — most hostels are still very much a part of the heterosexual world. So to meet other LGBTQ backpackers, I use websites like Meetup, Facebook, and Couchsurfing, which all feature LGBTQ-specific groups for each destination. Usually I’ll find an LGBTQ local who’s more than happy to show off their home or get together, whether it’s for a coffee in Berlin, a night out dancing in Dallas, or an impromptu walking tour in Manchester.

But, perhaps the biggest not-so-secret gay travel tip is that the ubiquitous gay dating apps provide so much more than the carnal experiences stereotypical of gay men. In the past year, many of the top gay apps have launched more social networking features to make them more PG and to make it easier to meet for “more social” encounters. The Hornet app now includes a Facebook-like newsfeed and a “discover” map as a way to connect by searching hashtags, cities, and topics, while Scruff has a feature called “Venture” that includes the ability to connect with other tourists, search events, and find local ambassadors. (And, controversially, even some heterosexual people seem to be using gay dating apps simply to make “gay best friends.”)

4. Staying safe in unfriendly places

No matter where you are in the world — from Dubai to Dublin — there are always going to be other LGBTQ individuals around. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean every place is safe or friendly. And while some gay travelers may choose to boycott particular destinations, not all of us do. If you happen to travel to one of these places, be sure to know the local legislation and the current state of gay rights.

In the past several years, many Western governments have started to include LGBTQ safety information as part of their general travel advice, which makes this pre-trip research that much easier. No matter where you’re from, it can be useful to check both the UK’s Foreign & Commonwealth Office LGBT travel advisories, the US State Department’s LGBTI travel information, and Equaldex’s crowd-sourced LGBT rights database before traveling.

Asking friends who’ve previously traveled to your destination for LGBT safety tips before visiting is also helpful, while both Internet forums and news outlets can provide useful information on the current state of LGBT issues. Many guidebooks include information about existing local LGBTQ organizations or clinics.

Trusting your instincts when backpacking is an important skill. I remember my first visit to Amman, Jordan, where I wanted to explore the city’s gay culture, but I was too afraid to meet anyone from the gay apps — even if it was just for a coffee. We’ve all been there — starting conversations with a local guy on an app and then flaking out before meeting in person. A habit of our generation, really, but that’s OK. You do you.

Bonus: Check out Ellen Page and Ian Daniel’s Gaycation travel TV series (from Viceland), with episodes on Jamaica, a country notorious for its homophobia; Brazil; and Japan (as well as the US).

5. Coming out again and again

Anyone who’s been backpacking for an extended trip probably recognizes the familiar five-minute friendships. You connect with someone quickly and intensely — sharing your life story, your secrets from home, and travel tips from wherever you’ve just come from. These fast friendships are fun and one of the most amazing experiences, but as a gay traveler, there’s an added challenge: most people assume that others around them are heterosexual — it’s just a habit of the world. (Admittedly, it’s a habit that’s breaking down in recent years.) And while coming out to family and friends back home is a truly rewarding experience as an LGBT individual, doing so again and again on the road quickly loses its appeal. Sometimes you end up sharing more than you care to, alternately answering and dodging questions from inquisitive strangers.

Traveling in Jerusalem, I met a group of backpackers at my hostel and ended up carousing through Jerusalem’s surprisingly hip nightlife. We were hanging out at Bar Sira, sitting at an outdoor table, when the topic of relationships finally came up. After listening to the guys talking about their conquests of Israeli women, I had to come out: Well, I’m gay. And let me tell you — the guys are as hot as the women. My new collection of European friends seemed surprised, and the conversation changed quickly. Out of an awkward, overcompensating kindness, the questions turned back to me: Are you a top or a bottom? What does anal sex feel like? Do you basically just get sex whenever you want? Their curiosity was sweet, but also slightly annoying. I found myself suddenly an encyclopedia of gay sex, acting the role of teacher. Sure, it feels good to impart some sexual knowledge to a stranger, but night after night with new travelers each time? No thanks! It’s too personal, too sexual. Don’t get me wrong: I like to talk about myself, but my sexuality isn’t the only thing about me.

6. Safe sex and traveling

Anyone who has ever stayed in a hostel or hung around many backpackers knows that the hook-up culture is alive and well among backpackers. In fact, a recent study revealed that many travelers ignore safe-sex practices when on the road and tend to engage in risky behaviors. For LGBTQ individuals, if you’re newly out and exploring your sexuality while also out there exploring the world, chances are high that you’ll find yourself in some compromising situations.

Sex while traveling can be a lot of fun, especially when it’s a passionate, fun-filled holiday romance, but unless you want some unwanted souvenirs, it’s best to stay safe. Of course, in the throes of passion and inhibited by drugs or alcohol, unexpected things can and do happen. Thankfully many gay bars and clubs around the world keep condoms and lube readily available, and local LGBTQ centers often provide rapid HIV tests, free counseling, and STI testing. However, if you find yourself at a hospital having to explain your sexuality and sexual habits in a foreign country, you might encounter difficulty as an LGBT person depending upon where you are and who you’re dealing with.

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Backpacking hasn’t always been a heterosexual-only experience. LGBT people have been traveling since…well, probably forever. With modern technology, improved equal rights, and new communication tools, gay travel is becoming easier and easier.

But while backpacking can be rewarding and a lot of fun, ask any traveler regardless of sexuality and you’ll find that the experience is definitely challenging. I’ve had to fend off a queer Couchsurfing host in India who was edging for a Christmas Eve bisexual orgy, fight to make it back to my hostel in London after passing out in a club bathroom, and deal with a broken motorbike on a mountaintop in Cambodia, but the stories and experiences I’ve racked up have turned me into a better traveler and a better person.

Adam Groffman is a former graphic designer who left a publishing job in Boston to travel around the world, before settling in Berlin, Germany. He’s a gay travel expert, writer, and blogger and publishes a series of LGBT-friendly Hipster City Guides from around the world on his gay travel blog, Travels of Adam. When he’s not out exploring the coolest bars and clubs, he’s usually enjoying the local arts and culture scene. Find more of his travel tips (and embarrassing stories) on Twitter @travelsofadam.

P.S. – If you are a lesbian traveler or a transgender traveler and would like to share your experience on the blog, please send me an email at matt@nomadicmatt.com

11 Incredible LGBT Travel Movies

Earlier this year, I added an LGBT column for the website to make the site more inclusive and talk about issues that affect some members of our community. We hear from LGBT voices about their experiences on the road, safety tips, events, and overall advice for other LGBT travelers! Returning this month is our column leader, Adam from Travels of Adam to share some of his favorite LGBT travel films!

Of the many things that motivate me to travel and explore the world, movies are definitely one of the strongest influences. Cinematography helps us experience different worlds, stories take us to new places.

And as the experience of coming out feels like a journey for so many LGBT people, it makes sense that there’d be many LGBT movies that cover the emotional journey of discovery alongside the physical adventure of travel.

From Oscar-winning classics like Brokeback Mountain to cult favorites like To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar to arthouse cinema by Almodóvar and John Waters, many films inspire us to travel.

This is my list of all-time favorite LGBT-themed movies that include traveling, and they come in all genres, from silly comedies to thoughtful dramas, from Hollywood masterpieces to indie productions.

Brokeback Mountain is (rightfully) at the top of any LGBT movie list. This 2005 movie tells the story of two cowboys and their annual trip from Wyoming to Texas. The beautiful scenery of the mountains and the men’s camping trip is the perfect background for this painful drama, which depicts how many gay relationships, however they’re defined, frequently start as friendship, but how there’s also often a struggle with society and one’s personal boundaries. Despite the tragic outcome, the story reminds us that love triumphs over hate — and over physical distance.

From the mountains we travel to the desert. Two of my favorite movies are inspired by sand and hot winds. The first one is a classic and has become a gay cult movie. Set in Australia’s Simpson Desert, 1994’s Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is actually the name of a bus used by two drag queens and a trans woman to cross Australia on their way to a casino in Alice Springs. Along the journey, the characters interact with rural populations, aboriginal Australians, and homophobic gangs. A young Guy Pearce and award-winning costume design make the film especially memorable. The film’s combination of humor and drama is essential to any road trip movie, because traveling gives you exactly that: laughs and tears.

The second desert movie on this list is a more recent (2005) Canadian production, and the desert depicted is that of the beautiful city of Essaouira, Morocco (though the setting of the movie is actually Jerusalem). C.R.A.Z.Y. is a story about acceptance and family life, but it includes an honest portrayal of traveling as a way of silencing the voices in our heads, only to return home completely empowered and strong. It follows Zac during his journey of coming out, which includes an escape to the Middle East before he reunites with his friends and family back home. Moreover, the soundtrack includes many iconic gay anthems, including Patsy Cline (“Crazy”), Giorgio Moroder (“Here to Eternity”), and David Bowie (“Space Oddity”).

This 1995 film seems to be inspired by Priscilla, but the producers insist that production started before the Australian film was released. To Wong Foo follows the lives of three New York drag queens (Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, and John Leguizamo) on a road trip from NYC to Los Angeles for a drag competition. Naturally, their car breaks down and they end up stranded in small-town America, where they have several comedic and dramatic encounters with the local police and other stereotypical Southern characters. The movie shows both the welcoming and homophobic attitudes of the American South, but for me, the best part is the combination of black, Latino and “white” narratives during the road trip. By overcoming stereotypes and hate — mostly depicted in the figure of a police officer — the drag queens change the lives of many people and rediscover the value of friendship.

Another great story, Transamerica features an outstanding performance by Felicity Huffman as a trans woman, Bree, on a road trip. Her therapist insists that she must make amends with her estranged son, who doesn’t know of her transition, before signing off on her final surgery. Bree drives her son from NYC to Los Angeles under the pretense of being a Christian missionary helping him out of jail and breaking his bad habits. As they travel together and learn about one another, the movie explores the meaning of words like “father” and “mother,” “boy” and “girl,” all the while revealing the characters’ complicated and emotional journey. It’s a story about family life, tolerance, and self-respect.

This 2011 British drama was director Andrew Haigh’s breakout film (before he went on to direct Looking and 45 Years). Two men who meet in a gay club looking for a casual hookup before one of them is to move away. They have a passionate weekend together, sharing intimate details and experiences: their coming out, past relationships, and thoughts on sexuality. It’s the story of that emotional, in-between moment before leaving something behind and starting anew: passionate, intense, and fleeting but unforgettable.

While some people are hesitant to consider it an LGBT movie, I believe Y Tu Mamá También is clearly about the stigma against bisexuality (or about the freedom to overcome any labels). While on a road trip around Mexico, two teenage boys and an attractive older woman head to the beach, only to discover the secrets of their own passions against the backdrop of Mexico’s political and social realities. The movie deftly combines comedy and drama, and it shows how traveling opens us up to new experiences by fighting societal and interal worries or doubts.

This lovely film from Brazil tells the story of two young men on a road trip trying to recover legal documents from relatives, with a detour to the beach. The journey gives them the opportunity to reconnect while solving their own internal struggles. One of the boys is gay, and the story follows his internal dilemma of sharing that fact with his friend. Part of the magic of this movie is that it’s a sweet and positive depiction of gay youth. The pain of coming out is mostly absent, and the whole experience is presented as natural and easy, with very little tension. There’s a sweetness to the story, a youthfulness—and, importantly, also a realness. Not everyone has a bad experience coming out. And those stories are just as worth sharing as the others.

It’s impossible to talk about LGBT movies and travel without making a reference to the work of Pedro Almodóvar. Many of his movies reflect gender, politics, and pain. Todo Sobre Mi Madre tells the story of a tragicomic drag queen and prostitute, Amparo, surrounded by a couple of lesbian theater actresses, a pregnant nun, and a mother (portrayed by Argentinian actress Cecilia Roth), all while searching for a trans woman who is the biological father of her son. The tragic story is set in two beautiful Spanish cities, Madrid and Barcelona, and through the protagonist, we learn that every trip has a different meaning at different points in our lives.

As for Asian cinema, the must-see film is this 1997 classic by Wong Kar-Wai. A gay couple from Hong Kong travel to Argentina, with the objective of visiting the Iguazú waterfalls and resetting their relationship. Their physical trip abroad is a metaphor for their spiritual trip, and includes episodes of depression, emotional pain, and abuse. The story is tumultuous but reveals the power of resilience and shows us how traveling can affect both past and present relationships.

August is another gay-themed movie about separation and reunification. After living for many years in Spain, Troy travels back to Los Angeles and begins a journey that explores the boundaries of relationships and the ugly difference between reality and expectations. For me, travel here is a symbolic way to break old habits and learn more about ourselves and others. Returning from a long trip always has its complications, especially when old relationships show up again. But it’s our journeys abroad that add to our own personal stories, and things always change before, during, and after a big trip.

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We often travel to different places in other to imagine how life would be for us there, to discover new cultures and social contexts and to explore unknown parts of our own being. Many LGBT-inspired films do exactly the same. Today, it’s easy to explore both the real or fictional worlds of gay lives in many films from different cultures, cities, and social contexts as more and more LGBT films make it to mainstream screens. But even if you don’t identify as LGBT, I encourage you to seek out these films that follow unique and personal stories, themes we can all relate to no matter our sexuality or gender.

Maybe the more LGBT movies you watch, the easier it is to interact with others who are different or have a background that’s hard to assess. The same goes for travel. The more international friends and acquaintances you have and the more diversity in your life, the easier to understand and empathize with other cultures.

Note: Some of these films aren’t 100% accurate in their depictions of LGBT people and may seem dated, but many of them have had a positive impact on LGBT culture and continue to be important.

Adam Groffman is a former graphic designer who left a publishing job in Boston to settling in Berlin, Germany. He’s a gay travel expert, writer, and blogger and publishes a series of LGBT-friendly Hipster City Guides from around the world on his gay travel blog, Travels of Adam. When he’s not out exploring the coolest bars and clubs, he’s usually enjoying the local arts and culture scene. Find more of his travel tips (and embarrassing stories) on Twitter @travelsofadam.

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