Keeping the Relationship Spark Alive on the Road

Posted: 07/22/2019 | July 22nd, 2019

This is a guest post by Ant, who used to blog at Positive World Travel, a travel blog that focused on couples travel tips. Their blog is no longer in existence.

When traveling the world as a couple, there can come a time when your relationship “spark” loses some its brightness. While exploring new cultures and racing around the world, it‘s easy for your relationship to fall to the wayside or end up in a rut.

I’m talking from experience.

Our relationship has become boring and mundane a few times, but we‘ve found many ways to keep igniting the flame over and over again. The important thing is to try and keep your relationship as fresh and as exciting as the countries you‘re visiting.

Here are a 6 ways Elise and I have found to keep our relationship interesting while we travel the world:

1. Organize a Date Night

As corny as it might sound, going out on an actual “date” can do wonders for your relationship. It can get monotonous sightseeing, eating cheap meals, or cooking your own food day in and day out, so making time for a special night can be something to look forward to.

Elise and I plan a date night every two weeks. We spend a little extra money, go to a nice restaurant, and dress up as best we can. We spend that night not talking about our website or what we did that day but rather talking with one another, putting our dream caps on, and playing the “what if” game.

Elise loves to chat about our eventual wedding, and even though it can drive me crazy at times (I never knew you could talk so much about floral arrangements!), date nights are a great way to share and chat about her — err, I mean our — dream wedding.

Date nights give you the opportunity to listen and reconnect with one another outside the traveling experience.

2. Be Spontaneous

Traveling as a couple can take its toll on each of you, and this tip is one of our key ingredients to success. Elise likes our travels to be somewhat planned, and I try and mix things up and be spontaneous, which keeps her thinking because she doesn‘t know what I have planned next.

If you have extra time in the city you‘re in, head out for the day and just act on a whim. Do activities you hadn’t considered before. Try some romantic activities like booking a massage together. Or try something more fun and unconventional when traveling, such as seeing a movie or going bowling.

Traveling doesn‘t always have to be about sightseeing. You can spend time doing “normal” activities that you did back home, too.

3. Embrace Celebrations

Even while traveling, celebrating birthdays and anniversaries is important to any relationship. It doesn’t matter if you‘re in the middle of nowhere, because the fact that you‘ll go to a little extra effort and get creative will always make your partner happy.

Once when we were camping, it was Elise’s birthday and we were far from any nice restaurants. So, the morning of her birthday, I woke up early to blow up 23 balloons and then gently placed them throughout our tent. I woke her up to an out-of-tune singing birthday candle and a dry piece of cake I found at a corner store the day before. She was delighted that I had gone to the trouble of making her birthday a little special even though we were camping.

We spent the rest of the day at a deserted beach, and Elise says that it was one of her best birthdays ever.

4. Plan Surprises

Even though you‘re traveling on a limited budget, a surprise every now and again will always excite your better half. Elise knows that I‘m a sucker for dark chocolate, and I always get excited when she‘s been out to run some errands and jumps on the bed with both hands behind her back when she gets home. I love that she thinks of me while she‘s out. It brings joy to our relationship.

Try to surprise each other with little touches here and there. Even a small gesture can work wonders.

5. Face Your Fears Together

Doing activities that one or both of you have a fear of can bring you together and bond you. Sharing a fear and overcoming it will definitely bring the spark back and a sense of achievement for you both.

Elise has a small fear of heights, and she has regularly pushed herself to confront this fear over the past 18 months. She has jumped out of planes and off cliffs into fast-flowing rivers. Each time she faces this fear I get so proud of her and it deepens my love for her.

Supporting your partner and giving them the encouragement they need to face their fears or overcoming them together is an instant bonding moment shared between the two of you and only strengthens your relationship.

6. Get Intimate

It has to be noted that sex is an important part of every relationship, and when you’re not having any, you‘re bound to be fighting more. Traveling in dirty environments and staying in shared accommodation can be a dampener to sexual relations. Finding time for a romp when there are train schedules to work out, long and sweaty bus rides to take, or a day battling annoying touts can be difficult.

Spending a little extra money from time to time and staying in a private room is the best way to find some alone time, as having sex in hostels can be quite tricky otherwise. Elise and I do this from time to time to make sure we can have intimate moments together. It’s worth the extra time and money. Trust me.

***
Even couples that have been together for years and years all need to take time out every now and again to make sure the spark is still there. The most important tip is to work out what works for you as a couple. Elise and I always make sure we not only have time for long-term travel and all that entails but also for making our relationship work on the road and keeping the spark alive.

Even couples that have been together for years and years all need to take time out every now and again to make sure the spark is still there. The most important tip is to work out what works for you as a couple. Elise and I always make sure we not only have time for long-term travel and all that entails but also for making our relationship work on the road and keeping the spark alive.

Ant is one half of the dynamic duo who used to blog at Positive World Travel. They wrote about their experiences and thoughts on what long-term travel is like as a couple, though they no longer blog.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

• World Nomads (for everyone below 70)
• Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with?
Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and that will save you time and money too!

The Importance of Personal Time When Traveling Together

Have you ever felt burned out from travel? Sometimes personal time is the right solution. This is a guest post by Elise, one half of Positive World Travel.

I’m going to be selfish for this post. I’m going to write about me. Don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you with the details of my favorite food, hobbies, or shoe size. Instead, I’m going to talk about why taking some time out from being a couple can be a good thing when you travel. Yes, I’m talking about that popular catchphrase, “me time.”

Last month, when Anthony wrote about traveling as a couple, he spoke from the heart and really hit the nail on the head as to what couples travel is all about. It’s about the experiences and memories that you create together, and it’s about being a unit and sharing your adventures.

While all that is true, I thought it was important to mention that while having a successful relationship on the road does stem from compromise, communication, and understanding, another important factor is taking the time to do things that are just for you.

Without trying to sound too much like a TV talk show host and shouting, “Go on, girl! You deserve it! Let it be all about YOU! Do it for yourself!” I do believe it’s true that doing things for yourself can lead to twice as many benefits for a couple. Being selfish every once in a while can be a good thing.

Why is “me time” important for my relationship?

Life on the road is different from life back home. Regular routines or structure are things of the past. You have to work, communicate, and solve problems together while navigating new surroundings frequently. While Ant and I do most things together, we have days when we need our own space. Sometimes we just need to do our own thing, whether sitting on the beach with our iPod or off doing a hike alone.

Ant got the chance to go spear fishing the other day, which left me alone all day to do as I pleased. Was I bored? Did I get lonely? No, I spent the day pampering myself! I washed my hair, gave myself a nice mani and pedi, and then lost myself in a good novel. I even went out to a local store and stocked up on chocolate.

Taking time away from your partner and doing what you want for yourself gives you time to relax and recharge, which only helps your relationship. You’ve done your own thing, so now you can be ready to listen, compromise, and be a loving partner with even more confidence.

I think some arguments that Ant and I have had simply happened because we didn’t have enough separate space. Everyone needs their own personal space. Taking some time to go off exploring on your own, reading a book, or doing an activity can really solve some problems before they even begin to bubble to the surface.

Furthermore, “me time” doesn’t necessarily have to mean “alone time.” It can quite often mean hanging out with fellow travelers, and it can be a great chance to let you and your partner interact in different environments.

While Ant and I really do love each other’s company, we also enjoy meeting other people from all over the world. Quite often we will have a few drinks with other travelers and barely speak to each other the whole night. We get lost in other people’s stories.

Taking time for yourself is such a good thing, but what makes “me time” even more enjoyable is being able to recount your day. The day after Ant returned from spear fishing, it felt like we hadn’t seen each other in ages! We were so excited to chat about what we had done! We chatted and laughed about our adventures that night over a bottle of wine and some freshly grilled fish that Ant had caught. It was just as exciting as when we go out and do something together, and it helped keep the energy and excitement in our relationship going.

Don’t be afraid to ask your partner if you can do your own thing for a while. Chances are they will want to too!

Elise completes the couple that is Positive World Travel and enjoys sharing her adventures with Anthony. She will be contributing more of her own thoughts and feelings on why couples travel is just so special. To follow Elise & Anthony on their continuous journey, head to their website or join their community on Facebook.

Want to learn more about relationships on the road? Check out these links:
The Challenges of Keeping a Relationship on the Road
Love and Romance on the Road: Can it Work?

Travel Advice from Traveling Couples

This is a guest post by Elise, one half of Positive World Travel. It’s a different format than I’ve done in the past, but let’s see how it works.

It’s been almost two years since Anthony and I started traveling together. In that time, I’ve learned more about Anthony and our relationship than I ever could have if we had stayed in Sydney. I certainly believe our travels have only strengthened our relationship. And so I began to wonder what other couples learned from their trips. I was sure they’d have advice to share, so I decided to contact a few couples and hear their thoughts, tips, and perspectives on life as two on the road.

Life After Kids: The Gypsy Nesters
I was interested in talking with a couple that are now traveling after having raised their kids. David and Veronica from Gypsy Nester have been together for 30 years. Since their kids have flown the nest, they’re enjoying life on the road and have been traveling full-time for the last three years.

David says traveling has been the couple’s best way to share experiences together as a newly minted empty-nest couple. “Our plan took on a life of its own — leading us to sell everything, including our house. Now every day is a new experience, and our relationship is stronger than ever.”

Of their travels together, David says, “In some ways this is a bonus time for us, since we spent a huge portion of our first twenty years of marriage separated because of my work…Now, we get to make up for some of that lost time.”

For Veronica, traveling has opened her up again and she feels free. She says, “Sometimes ‘holing up’ in one place can make you fearful of the world. As a mother, I turned into a protector. My main focus was keeping my children from harm. Though that’s a very commendable thing, it made me fearful.”

So, after three years of full-time travel, what advice do they have for couples who want to travel? “Dial back the day-to-day planning, embrace the unexpected, and look for the unknown gems along the way.” They both agree that, initially, they were trying too hard to see everything in a minimum amount of time. “We had been known to vacation like that, but it’s not a vacation [now] — it’s our lives.”

David and Veronica have really got their lifestyle, relationship, and travel style down pat, and when I asked them to sum up their travels in one word they simply answered: “Discovery.”

A Decade of Travel: Wanderlust Fever

Karen and Eric from Trans Americas Journey are no novices when it comes to either long-term travel or couples travel. In total, they’ve been traveling for just under a decade and have been on the road constantly for the last five years.

Traveling together for Eric and Karen is what they describe as a “long-term endeavor — more [of a] lifestyle than anything else.” For them, the one- to two-week vacation just seems “foreign and impossible.”

Eric and Karen say that their biggest challenge on the road is spending all of their time together. (This is also one of the biggest challenges Ant and I face). But they also see this as their biggest gift. Many people say to them, “If you can travel together, you must have a perfect relationship.” No such thing, they say. Being with someone all the time means it’s “important to find a way to give in to your partner’s needs on his or her deal-breaker issues, and vice versa.”

For them, it’s compromise that is their single most important tip for traveling couples and for maintaining a great relationship on the road. They suggest you “compromise when making decisions (where to go next, budgets, this hotel or that hotel, etc.), especially when it comes to the two or three core elements that are most important to your partner.”

On the Flip Side: The Beginning Travelers

With such great advice from two truly inspiring couples, I also wanted to talk to one couple who have only just started out on their travels. Is their perspective any different? What have they learned in their short time on the road?

Skott and Shawna from Get Up And Globe just started traveling together in June of 2010. Their long-term travel started with looking for a honeymoon destination, but the wheels were set in motion when they realized they wanted to spend time in more than just one location.

Although they weren’t really nervous about traveling together for so long, they do think their travels have been a whole lot easier because, prior to this trip, they worked together. “Working together prepared us quite well. We got to know what makes the other person tick in challenging, high-tension situations,” they said. Skott and Shawna suggest that if you’re worried about spending so much time with your partner, all day every day, try “getting yourselves involved in an activity where you are stuck with each other for at least a few days without escape. For example, a week-long canoe trip or camping.”

Whether you’re a couple who’s been traveling for two weeks or two years, there will always be lessons you can learn to strengthen your relationship. Skott and Shawna focus on communication and trust. “Communication is an area where we are absolutely continuing to grow. If one of us is getting annoyed, we are learning that it is better to explain why you are upset instead of keeping it bottled inside…We are learning we need to trust each other more. Whether it is planning a certain element of the trip, finding our way around a city, or even working on our blog, we need to recognize that the other person is just as competent, and that they need to be given a chance to show what they can do!”

While Skott and Shawna said it took them some time to find their “travel legs,” they absolutely love that they “have someone else to share every incredible experience and every challenging moment with. We will share these moments forever.”

While all three couples have such different relationships and travel experiences, none of them sugar-coated the fact that traveling together is hard and takes work. Yes, the times on the road will be tough, but each couple looked at their travels as time to spend with one another, share special moments, and problem-solve as a strengthened unit.

Traveling with your loved one really is a very unique and rewarding experience. I know I wouldn’t trade my travels with Anthony for anything.

Elise is one half of the dynamic duo at Positive World Travel. Both are writing about their experiences and thoughts on what long-term travel is like as a couple. You can also follow them on Facebook for more of their travel updates.