Why I Love Solo Female Travel More in My Thirties

Posted: 11/1/2018 | November 1st, 2018

11/1/2018 | November 1st, 2018

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them!

The first time I went overseas alone, I was 21 years old and terrified. Everything was an unknown. Would I meet people? Would I be safe? Did I have what it took?

I had landed in Taiwan as a language student and finding a place to live, opening a bank account, and setting up a cell phone all seemed like insurmountable obstacles. I spent my first three days on the road hiding in a hotel room, afraid to emerge, and fumbled at a language I barely knew.

But, eventually, I met my new roommate via a forum online, made friends with her friends, and grew to love everything that traveling solo entailed.

That positive experience was the start to a journey that had me quitting my job to travel around the world at twenty-six.

Traveling solo in my twenties was fun and social. Staying in dorms made meeting people easy. All I had to do is walk into the dorm room, say hello, and, usually, I had a few built-in friends right off the bat. As anyone who frequents dorms knows, they tend to be party places. Almost every hostel has a bar and a common way of experiencing the freedom of being abroad is to do so with a drink in hand. My main objective back then was to go for as long as I could on the money I’d saved up and to have as much fun as possible.

As I crossed into my 30s I suddenly found that – without ever really realizing it – my travel style changed. I stopped wanting to stay in hostels, I stopped having as much interest in bars, I started to really like sleep and having my own room.

When I geared up to go backpacking again this year, I began to worry, am I going to be a weird girl who is in between, not staying in dorms as much anymore but still wanting to be social? Is traveling solo going to get tougher? Will it get harder to meet people?

I found that a lot has changed about how I travel now, but traveling in my thirties is proving to be much more fulfilling than in it was my twenties.

Why?

I can afford better accommodation.

For most

For most gap yearers and twentysomething travelers, it’s all about going for as long as possible on a tight budget. One of the easiest ways to do that is to stay in cheap dorms. They’re great for meeting others, and for two solid years in my 20s, I adored them. But for all of the benefits, there’s one big problem with dorms: They’re not so great if you actually like sleep.

Getting older has meant making a bit more money to spend on accommodation. I’ve been in my career for longer, have figured out budgeting a bit better, and have shifted my spending priorities. I now prefer staying in an Airbnb or a hotel over sharing a room with five other people and waiting in line for my turn to use the bathroom. So my dorm days are behind me. Gone are the days of suffering through someone snoring or gyrating in the bunk above me.

Though this means I have to work harder to meet people than just walking into a dorm room and asking someone where they’re from, this has pushed me to meet people in other ways. This leads me to the next big change:

I establish deeper connections with the people I meet.

Traveling in my twenties came with a pretty standard way of socializing: dorms and bars. I’d meet people where I was staying and wouldn’t worry about using other avenues. These connections were fun, but they also felt like the movie Groundhog Day. Someone was always leaving; someone was always arriving. Someone was always asking where I was from and where I’d been. I still made deep connections, but now I tend to spend more time with fewer people because I simply don’t meet as many, so I can give more individualized attention to those I do meet.

Traveling in my twenties came with a pretty standard way of socializing: dorms and bars. I’d meet people where I was staying and wouldn’t worry about using other avenues. These connections were fun, but they also felt like the movie Groundhog Day. Someone was always leaving; someone was always arriving. Someone was always asking where I was from and where I’d been. I still made deep connections, but now I tend to spend more time with fewer people because I simply don’t meet as many, so I can give more individualized attention to those I do meet.

These days I use tours and activities as a way to meet people, like a snorkeling day tour in Siargao, Philippines, or a cooking course in Chiang Mai, or a yoga class, a meditation retreat, a hiking trail, a diving trip, or a day at the beach. I find that when I’m in a position to meet people with similar interests, it gives us a chance to bond over a shared activity we’re both passionate about. By already having a shared passion, we have a common ground other than partying and can often have more meaningful connections this way.

I hang out with more locals.

When I was living the dorm life and hanging out in backpacker zones, that’s exactly who I was surrounded by — other backpackers. That was what I wanted back then – it was fun and easy – so I didn’t push myself outside of it.

When I was living the dorm life and hanging out in backpacker zones, that’s exactly who I was surrounded by — other backpackers. That was what I wanted back then – it was fun and easy – so I didn’t push myself outside of it.

But when I returned to some of the same places in my thirties, I realized that I was more likely to hang out with actual local residents or expats, since I was going to places like yoga studios or small cafés, or local cultural events I’d seen on flyers, and striking up conversations. To find local events, I often look on Facebook for regional groups of activities I enjoy, like Ecstatic Dance, or meditation, or even a workout class (I’m into pole but there are other activities like Soul Cycle, or aerial yoga, or rock climbing, depending on your pleasure).

Things like this often give me a better insight into the places I’m visiting because I am doing what the locals are doing and not just what travelers are doing. It’s not that this couldn’t happen before. It just didn’t as much before because I was so comfortable in my little bubble.

I care more about having nicer meals.

I knew street food was delicious in my twenties — and it’s still true in my thirties. I still love having a cheap bowl of soup — but I also love turning around and spending triple that on a latte, or going for a 5-star meal that you can only get from that chef in this place.

I knew street food was delicious in my twenties — and it’s still true in my thirties. I still love having a cheap bowl of soup — but I also love turning around and spending triple that on a latte, or going for a 5-star meal that you can only get from that chef in this place.

There were many times I had to give a one-of-a-kind dining experience a pass in my twenties due to budget constraints. I think I still could have made it work sparingly back then, but my priorities were different. I preferred a night out partying to eating more expensive food, and I now realize my mistake. Food is one of the best gateways to understanding a culture, and while street food can provide that gateway, it’s only one of many.

For example, I recently ate at a kaiseki restaurant in Japan, which is a multi-course meal that typically costs a bare minimum of $150. Weeks later, I’m still thinking about how creative the meal was, and how unique of an experience it was to sit across from the chefs as they made the food and presented it to me. That was an experience I’ll probably never forget, and though I love cheap noodles, I don’t often think about them the same way weeks later.

Sometimes being an (older) adult is awesome for joys like this.

I’m more comfortable with me.

I spent my 20s feeling serious FOMO if I wasn’t out enjoying the social aspect of traveling. I also spent way too much time worrying about what other people thought and I didn’t have a very strong sense of self. Traveling, especially solo, forced me to spend more time with myself than I ever had before,

I spent my 20s feeling serious FOMO if I wasn’t out enjoying the social aspect of traveling. I also spent way too much time worrying about what other people thought and I didn’t have a very strong sense of self. Traveling, especially solo, forced me to spend more time with myself than I ever had before, made me realize how resourceful and capable I am, and set me up for a more confident next decade.

Now I relish the time that I spend alone. I’m seeing a whole new world that was missing from my twenties, like the sunrise every day in Thailand, the first surf in Kuta, Indonesia, or the cenote in Mexico (a limestone sinkhole or cave with crystal clear water at the bottom) that doesn’t have anyone else around because they’re all sleeping off tequila hangovers, because they couldn’t handle the FOMO.

I thought that my twenties were the decade when I was supposed to be super energetic and that I would be old and decrepit in my thirties, but it turns out that since I am making healthier choices and setting different intentions with my travels, I actually accomplish so much more!

***

Though the changes have been slow and unconscious — there was never a pivotal “aha!” moment — I’m a different traveler now. Although I don’t have any more stories about late nights out or neon paint on the beach, there’s more purpose to my travels now instead.

And I’m ok with that.

I feel that the perks of being older and wiser keep compounding, and at an even quicker rate than they did in my twenties, when I was less sure of myself and where I wanted to go, both figuratively and while on the road. The confidence that came with more life experience has translated to even better trips abroad.

None of this is to say that traveling in one’s twenties is somehow inferior or less genuine, or that this is everyone’s travel progression. We’re all on our own personal journeys.

But for me, like a fine kombucha, traveling seems to just get better and better with age.

Conquering Mountains: The Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost nothing she won’t try and almost nowhere she won’t explore. You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation
To find the best budget accommodation, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time. You can book your hostel – if you want that instead – with Hostelworld as they have the most comprehensive inventory.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

• World Nomads (for everyone below 70)
• Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with?
Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

32 Random Facts About Me

Updated: 02/13/2019 | February 13th, 2019

A few weeks ago I mentioned that this year I wanted to make the website more personal.

Back in 2011, I wrote this post featuring some personal facts about my life. It was a window into non-travel me. Well, that was a loooooong time ago. Life changes. People change.

So I thought one way to make this website more personal was to resurrect this long forgotten post and share a window into the current non-travel me.

So let’s kick off 2011 2019 with some random facts about me and my life:

1. I hate flying. I love airports, lounges, and elite status, but the act of flying makes me sick. I don’t like heights and any turbulence makes me think the plane is about to crash. I’m not a good flier. (Ironic considering how often I fly!)

2. When I was younger, I was obsessed with Pinky and the Brain. I even had a T-shirt collection. I also had one of those bowl haircuts, but I prefer to forget about that fact.

3. I never traveled independently until I went to Costa Rica at age 23. My travel experiences up until then were a series of road trips with my parents and a drunken weekend in Montréal when I was 19. (I also never went west of the Mississippi until I was 25.)

4. When I was younger, I wanted to be an archaeologist because of Indiana Jones.

5. I got really bad food poisoning when I was in Costa Rica. It was so bad that I had to be hospitalized for three days and put on a morphine drip.

6. I went to college to be a high school history teacher. I’m still technically certified to teach high school history.

7. I am a really good cook. I don’t cook much on the road because I hate how hostel kitchens aren’t fully stocked and everyone crowds them at the same time, but once in a while, I like to cook a massive meal for my fellow travelers.

8. I used to be a vegetarian. After reading Fast Food Nation, I decided to give up meat and was a vegetarian for four years. It wasn’t eating meat I was against, but rather industrial farming and the chemicals/antibiotics in the meat that I didn’t like. I gave up vegetarianism when I started to travel.

9. I think it’s rude to turn down food in other cultures. If you go to a village in Mongolia and you are given food, it’s insulting to refuse. “Sorry, your traditional and heartfelt cooking doesn’t go with my dietary needs.” It’s culturally insensitive. But that’s a rant for another post.

10. I’m a huge fan of soul, Motown, blues, and jazz. It’s way better than any of the pop music out there.

11. If I could ever pick what time period I could live in, I’d pick 1920s Prohibition America. I think that would be an exciting time to live in. But maybe I’ve just read The Great Gatsby too much.

12. Speaking of Gatsby, I learned to swing dance so I could throw myself a Gatsby-themed birthday party. I did it for three years in a row. They were epic birthday parties.

12. I am intensely political. After travel, politics is my second love. I live and breathe politics, and it is the only news I keep up with while traveling. I am always ready to discuss and debate the world any time of the day and with anyone, no matter how well I know them.

13. I co-own a hostel in Austin, Texas called HK Austin. You should come stay there!

14. I don’t have a burning desire to visit most Middle Eastern countries. There are parts I want to / have visited (Dubai, Jordan, Israel, Qatar, Oman) but, as a whole, the area is low on my list of places to visit.

15. People always ask will I do this forever? My answer: I don’t know. Forever is a long time. I’d like to travel for the next few years, but who can say what the future holds and where it will take us? For now, I’m enjoying the ride and see no reason to hang up my backpack just yet.

16. I’ve been to over 30 Dave Matthews Band concerts. I’m a super fan.

17. I’m a Japanophile. I love everything about the culture: the food, the history, the etiquette, the landscape, the architecture — all of it. I would eat sushi every day if I could.

18. I’m a workaholic. Maybe because I grew up in New England, I have the Puritan work ethic, and if I don’t have work to do, I think something is wrong and create work for myself. Idle hands are the Devil’s playground!

19. I decided to travel after meeting five backpackers in a shared taxi while on vacation in Thailand. I was so amazed at what they were doing that the next day I decided to quit my job. They were two Australians, a Canadian, and a Belgian couple. They changed the course of my life and have no idea.

20. I’m an unabashed Taylor Swift fan. Not only do I think she’s an incredible businesswoman and marketer, but I also love her cheesy pop songs.

21. I’m also a huge fan of Sia. Incredible songstress and writer.

22. I don’t play any sports nor know anything about them. I couldn’t think of anything more boring than going to a sporting event. In fact, I once fell asleep at a hockey match.

23. I don’t drink coffee. It tastes like shit to me. And I don’t want to put added sugar or milk (or soy milk) in my cup of joe. Drinks should be able to stand on their own! Nothing is going to change my opinion on this. I’ve tried for years to acquire a taste for it. It’s just not going to happen.

24. I drink tea. Lots of it. Especially green tea. That’s my drink of choice!

25. My alcoholic drink of choice is an old fashioned. A few years ago, a few friends turned me onto whiskey and I’ve been obsessed since. I judge a bar by the quality of the old fashioneds they serve.

26. One day, I’d like to learn how to garden. I want to grow my own food. I love cooking and think it’s a logical step!

27. I used to be a professional poker player. I funded a lot of my original trip with poker winnings and lived in Amsterdam for a few months playing “professionally” at the casino in the city.

28. I don’t eat sweets. Maybe once a year I’ll have a cookie or brownie but, for the most part, I don’t do desserts or sweets as I don’t like all the sugar.

29. I have a new book coming out in July (you can pre-order it now!). It’s about my ten years on the road. More details next month!

30. When I’m working, I’ll often play one song on repeat over and over again. It helps me focus because it ends up just being white noise. As I write this post, I’ve been listening to Sweet Annie by Zach Brown Band on repeat for the last two hours.

31. I don’t have a favorite color. I have two. Blue and green!

32. In 2019, I want to take up more hobbies. I want to swing dance more, learn French, take some cooking classes, and try to learn how to play the piano. If I do two of those things, I’ll consider it a successful year.

***

There you have it! Some fun facts about me. Now, you’re turn. Tell me about yourself in the comments below.

How to Travel the World on $50 a Day

My New York Times best-selling paperback guide to world travel will teach you how to master the art of travel save money, get off the beaten path, and have a more local, richer travel experiences.

Click here to learn more about the book, how it can help you, and you can start reading it today!
 
 
 

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

• World Nomads (for everyone below 70)
• Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with?
Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and that will save you time and money too!

Reflections on Traveling Through Morocco

Have you ever loved a destination but couldn’t figure out why, or a way to express your feelings? That’s my dilemma with Morocco.

In August, I went with Intrepid Travel and crossed off a country that has long been on my bucket list. I rode a camel, drank all the mint tea I could find, got lost in medinas, and ate more couscous than I thought was humanly possible.

I loved the tour. Our guide Rashid was friendly, took us out to smoke shisha, introduced us to the locals, and was generally very helpful. I made friends with my tour mates and got along with my roommate. And Morocco itself – wow! I loved walking down the street and being barraged by the smell of 1000 diffrent spices, getting lost in the maze-like medinas with their endless nooks and crannies, the chaos of millions of people shuffling about with vendors vying for your attention, and the crimson red of the Sahara with its endless rolling dunes — they were all I wanted them to be! Sure, there were many overwhelming moments when I felt like a fish out of water and things didn’t go my way but I relish those moments!

Travel is about feeling uncomfortable. It’s one of the reasons I enjoyed Ukraine so much, where I was completely out of my element. The country challenged me and I loved it. I fawn over it every chance I get!

Morocco was everything I wanted it to be. It lived up to all my expectations, but for some reason, my experience has been hard to verbalize. Why can’t I express how I feel about Morocco? It’s been bothering me for months.

I’ve racked my brain thinking about it, pondered it on trains, and stared at a blinking cursor while trying to write about it.

Then, suddenly a few weeks ago, the reason hit me.

One constant in my travels — and I’m sure many of you might feel the same — is that of a touchstone, one defining point where the trip all comes together and acts as a prism for everything the journey represented. On my trip to Japan, it was befriending a local who wanted to learn English. In Costa Rica, it was getting lost in a jungle. In Ukraine, it was drinking vodka with locals who knew less English than I knew Russian (and I only know “cheers” and “hello”). On my first visit to Thailand, it was meeting those five people who changed my life. In Ios, it was being taken to a local community festival by my hostel owner.

My trips revolve around one memory that crystalizes the trip and puts everything into focus. Each of the moments ties together all my other memories of a place: the food, the smells, the sights, the people. It’s the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the place and acts as the door to all other memories.

Despite the wonderful times I had and the amazing itinerary Intrepid put together, I’ve realized the reason I’m so ambivalent about Morocco is because I lack that touchstone. There’s no “whoa” moment I can point to where I felt ultra-connected to the country, where everything came together.

But writing this article has made me realize that I have thousands of little moments — staring at the a million stars in the backness of the desert, wandering the empty ruins of Volubilis, discovering new foods with some amazing Australians on my tour, befriending the fish sellers and gorging on fresh seafood in Essaouira, getting lost in medinas, haggling over a chess set and laughing with the seller, and drinking about 1,000 pots of mint tea (OK, slight exaggeration, it was more likely 999).

So maybe you don’t need that one special moment. Maybe I’ve relied on that touchstone as a crutch for too long.

Paul Theroux once said travel is only glamorous in retrospect. I’m not sure I agree with that but what I am sure about is that, in retrospect, I’m only now truly appreciating the time I spent in Morocco and how unique it was.

Sometimes your senses get so battered it takes time for the dust to settle, the thoughts to process, and the wonderful moments to shine through.

*****Editor’s Note: I went to Morocco with Intrepid Travel on their Best of Morocco tour. It was part of my ongoing partnership with

: I went to Morocco with Intrepid Travel on their Best of Morocco tour. It was part of my ongoing partnership with Intrepid Travel . They covered the cost of the tour, flight, and meals.

Why Pretentious Travelers Suck (And What I Do About Them)

Nothing irks me more than people disparaging people’s travel choices. I don’t get why people do it. The whole “traveler vs. tourist” argument, talking about what makes someone a “real traveler,” and making fun of people’s routes — people waste so much energy trying to lift themselves up above others. Isn’t travel supposed to make you open-minded?

I do this for me. This is all my journey. I’m not in a race for the most countries visited, street stalls eaten at, or festivals attended. I do what makes me happy, even if it’s some “touristy” destination.

There isn’t a single “authentic” version of travel. Getting off the beaten path, finding some hidden island, or living with some guy in a yurt in Mongolia don’t make someone a better traveler than anyone else. It just means your itinerary and experience were different.

I’ve been riled up about this for quite some time and decided to make a video about this subject. Here’s how I really feel and what I think you should do when you meet a pretentious, judgmental traveler (also notice the new introduction! Spiffy, huh?):

(Want more travel videos? Subscribe to my YouTube channel here and get free videos!)

So go where you want. Do what you want. See what you want. Eat where you want. Maybe I’ll disagree, maybe I’ll try to get you to do something else, but, as Sheryl Crow said, if it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad — and at the end of the day, I’m just happy you left the house. That’s all I care about.

The next time someone starts harping on your travel choices or giving you grief, turn the conversation around on them. Tell them part of being a traveler is being open-minded and if they can’t respect your choice, the conversation is over. Call them out on their crap.

And then walk away.

It’s your trip. Don’t let people ruin it.

How Travel Taught Me How to Not Give a F*ck

I vaguely knew about Mark Manson. He was a friend of friends, a fellow blogger, and someone I knew who wrote well researched (and always a little controversial) posts. When he and his wife moved to NYC, we finally met in person (I actually met his wife first). We became friends – we’re both nerds, entrepreneurs, writers, poker players, and lovers of whiskey. I blurbed his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. It’s a phenomenal book about focusing on what matters. Chelsea Handler and Chris Hemsworth (aka THOR) are huge fans. Mark is a phenomenal writer and, and in a long overdue post, he finally wrote something for the site. In this post, Mark talks about how travel made him the person is today – and laid the foundation for the book.

I have vomited in six different countries. That may not be the most savory statistic for a travel article, but when you’re huddled over a drainage ditch, spewing up what for all you know could have been sautéed rat meat, these moments have a way of staying in your mind.

I remember getting a flat tire in the Indian countryside and the locals being flabbergasted as I changed it myself. I remember staying up until 4AM in a hostel arguing with a drunk English kid who thought 9/11 was a hoax. I remember an old Ukrainian man got me drunk on the best vodka of my life and claimed he was stationed in a Soviet U-Boat off the coast of Mississippi in the 1970s (which is probably untrue, but who knows).

I remember climbing the Great Wall of China hungover, getting ripped off on a boat trip in Bali (spoiler alert: there was no boat), sneaking my way into a five-star resort on the Dead Sea, and the night I met my wife in a Brazilian night club.

Since selling my possessions in the fall of 2009, I remember a lot of things. I set out with a small suitcase to travel around the world. I had a small internet business, a blog, and a dream.

My year (maybe two) long trip turned into seven years (and sixty countries).

With most things in life, you know exactly what benefits you’re going to get from them. If I go to the gym, I know I’m going to get stronger and/or lose weight. If I hire a tutor, I know I’m going to learn more about a specific subject. If I start a new Netflix series, I know I’m not going to sleep for the next three days until I finish it.

But travel is different.

Travel, unlike anything else in life, has the beautiful ability to give you benefits you didn’t expect. It doesn’t just teach you what you don’t know, it also teaches you what you don’t know you don’t know.

I gained a lot of amazing experiences from my travels — experiences I expected and looked for. I saw incredible sites. I learned about world history and foreign cultures. I often had more fun than I knew was possible.

But the most important effects of my years of travel are actually the benefits that I didn’t even know I would get and the memories I didn’t know I would have.

For example, I don’t know the moment I became comfortable being alone. But it happened somewhere in Europe, probably in either Germany or Holland.

When I was younger, I would consistently feel as though something was wrong with me if I was by myself for too long — “Do people not like me? Do I not have any friends?” I felt a constant need to surround myself with girlfriends and friends, to always be at parties, and always be in touch. If for some reason I weren’t included in other people’s plans, it was a personal judgment on me and my character.

But, by the time I returned to Boston in 2010, that feeling somehow stopped. I don’t know where or when. All I know is I flew home from Portugal after 8 months abroad, sat at home, and felt fine.

I don’t remember where I was when I developed a sense of patience (probably somewhere in Latin America). I used to be the guy who would get angry if a bus was late (which often happens in Latin America), or I missed my turn on the highway and had to loop back around. Sh*t like that used to drive me insane.

Then one day, it just didn’t. It ceased to be a big deal. The bus will eventually come and I’ll still get to where I need to go. It became clear that my emotional energy was limited and I was better off saving that energy for moments that mattered.

I don’t recall exactly when I learned how to express my feelings either.

Ask any of my girlfriends pre-travels and they’ll tell you: I was a closed book. An enigma wrapped in bubble-wrap and held together by duct tape (but with an extremely handsome face).

My problem was that I was afraid to offend people, step on toes, or create an uncomfortable situation.

But now? Most people comment that I’m so blunt and open that it can be jarring. Sometimes my wife jokes that I’m too honest.

I don’t recall when I became more accepting of people of different walks of life or when I started appreciating my parents or when I learned how to communicate with someone despite neither of us speaking the same language.

But all of these happened….somewhere in the world, in some country, with somebody. I don’t have any photos of these moments. I just know they are there.

Somewhere along the way I became a better me.

Last year, I wrote a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. The premise of the book is essentially that we all have a limited number of f*cks to give in our lives, therefore we should be conscious of what we’re choosing to give a f*ck about.

Looking back, I think that it was my experience traveling that subtly, without me realizing it, taught me to not give a f*ck. It taught me to not give a fu*k about being alone, the bus being late, other people’s plans, or creating an uncomfortable situation or two.

Memories are made from what we give a f*ck about.

I have all the usual photos from my travels. Me on the beaches. Me at Carnaval. Me with my buddy Brad surfing in Bali. Machu Picchu.

I gave a f*ck about those.

The photos are great. The memories are great.

But like anything in life, their importance fades the further removed you get from them. Just like those moments in high school that you think are going to define your life forever cease to matter a few years into adulthood, those glorious peaks of travel experience seem to matter less the more time passes. What seemed life-changing and world-shaking at the time now simply elicits a smile, some nostalgia and maybe an excited, “Oh yeah! Wow, I was so skinny back then!”

Travel, although a great thing, is just another thing. It’s not you. It’s something you do. It’s something you experience. It’s something you savor and brag about to your friends down the street.

But it’s not you.

Yet these other, memoryless qualities — the outgrown personal confidence, the comfort with myself and my failings, the greater appreciation for family and friends, the ability to rely upon myself — these are the real gifts that travel gives you.

And, despite the fact that they produce no photos or stories for cocktail parties, they are the things stay with you forever.

They are your real lasting memories….because these things are you.

And they will always be you.

Mark Manson is a blogger, entrepreneur, and author of the New York Times Bestseller The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. His book is one of the best books I read in 2016 and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s well written, funny, self-deprecating, and even works in a panda bear! You can read more of his work at MarkManson.net.

What I Do When I Don't Travel: 20 More Facts About Me

Posted: 8/23/18 | August 23rd, 2018

Years ago, I wrote a post about things I like to do beyond just travel. While I drop hints here and there about the “non-Nomadic Matt” me, today I thought I’d share some interesting facts about me that are not travel related. (Especially since a lot of you responded to my last email about being in a creative slump with “Well, tell us more about you!”)

So grab some popcorn and learn a little more about who I am and what I do when I’m not on the road:

Speaking of which, I love popcorn. Seriously. It has zero nutritional value and an infinite amount of taste! I can’t get enough of it. Always salted, no butter though.

I love movies. I probably watch two or three a week, either in the theater or at home on Netflix.

When I’m on a plane, I only watch bad movies — the cheesy Hollywood movies I’d never spend money to see. They’re terrible, but they are the kind of mindless entertainment I want while I’m relaxing over an ocean. It’s my way to turn my brain off for a bit.

When I’m not traveling abroad, I split my time between Austin, where I’m a resident, and NYC, where I go when it gets too hot in Texas or I need some really good sushi.

I consume an unhealthy amount of news, especially as it pertains to politics. Not just US politics — I follow the political situation in a lot of countries. While it impresses locals that I can name their prime minister and discuss recent changes in farm bills, it’s not healthy reading so much news. I’ve had to delete news apps from my phone so I would stop thinking the sky was always falling.

An Old Fashioned is the way to my heart. It is hands down my favorite drink.

My favorite liquor? Scotch, specifically peaty Scotch from Islay. (Feel free to send any bottles to 222 Broadway, Floor 19, New York, NY 10038. I won’t mind! My favorite brand is Ardbeg.)

I am terrible at sports. I can’t play any, and I barely know how they work. Don’t ask me about players either. I couldn’t name one. (Though I do enjoy a good soccer match!)

I love to swing dance, though I don’t do it as often as I’d like. I learned how when I threw a Gatsby-themed birthday party for myself a few years ago and have been hooked ever since.

I love Taylor Swift. Her cheesy songs are awesome, her show production is out of this world, and I think she’s a marketing genius. (And your “Really? Come on, Matt!” will do nothing to change that. I see ya over there!)

When I write, I listen to one song on repeat over and over again. Doing so helps me focus better. The song helps me tune out the world, and then, when I’m bored with the song, I tune it out and focus on what is in front of me: my writing. I’m way more productive this way! (This post was written to Sia’s Alive!)

I don’t have any plants because they all die. I could say it’s because I travel so much but when I was a college graduate, I bought a ton of bonsai trees and even those died. So no green thumb for me!

I know all the best sushi and cocktails spots in NYC. I even run a speakeasy bar crawl for my friends who come to town. I spend a lot of time reading and learning about the ’20s and the history of cocktails.

I want to learn how to shoot a gun. Not because I’m some gun nut – I strongly dislike them, want really strict gun control, and am a regular donor to Everytown for Gun Safety – but because I am one of those crazy “preppers.” I think the world is pretty much f*cked, and I’d like to know how to shoot a gun to (a) protect myself in case civilization ends and (b) hunt (another thing I want to learn how to do) for food when that happens or (c) the zombies come. Having a Plan B never hurt anyone, right?

To that end, I’d also like to learn how to shoot a bow and arrow. I think that would be really fun – and useful.

I try to spend an hour a day reading (though, lately, I haven’t been doing that as much as I would like since I’ve been busy meeting a book deadline). I’m a big fan of biographies and travel, history, and business books. I think reading and educating yourself is one of the most important things you can do in your life, and I cannot understand people who don’t read books. How do you learn about the world? How do you improve yourself? How do you relax? I just don’t get it. Education doesn’t stop at school!

I’m a morning person. I tend to wake up around 7 am and do my best work before lunchtime. On a good day, I’ll get up at 6 am.

I don’t drink coffee. I do drink a lot of tea, my favorite being anything in the green tea family, though I have a special love for jasmine and sencha. I would really love to take a tea class and learn more about it.

This fall I plan to sign up for French classes again and really try to learn the language. To me, French is one of the most beautiful languages in the world, and I’m really sad I don’t remember anything from my previous time learning it!

When I was a kid, I was the state champion for Magic: The Gathering. My friends and I played it a lot. I also had a Star Trek-themed bar mitzvah. So, basically, full nerd!

***So there you have it! Some more interesting facts about me. Well, things I think are interesting at least. Tell me something about you: Who are the people who read this website? What do you do in your free time? What are your hopes and dreams? Leave a comment and share!

How to Travel the World on $50 a Day

So there you have it! Some more interesting facts about me. Well, things I think are interesting at least. Tell me something about you: Who are the people who read this website? What do you do in your free time? What are your hopes and dreams? Leave a comment and share!

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This Non-Nomadic Life (Part Deux)

Posted: 8/30/2018 | August 30th, 2018

Years ago, when I tried to slow down and travel less, I wrote a post on my new “non-nomadic” life.

It didn’t stick — and I was quickly back on the road.

It was a pattern that lasted for years.

I’d come home, proclaim to my friends was I’m going to settle down for real this time only to leave again a few months later.

It became sort of a running joke between my friends and me.

(And I think here too, with all my “no, for real!” blog posts.)

But, after many false starts, I finally became truly non-nomadic last year.

This year, I’ve only spent a combined two and half months on the road. While that’s a lot by “real world” standards, it’s not a lot for a guy who spent a decade moving every few days/weeks/months and named his blog after his being a nomad.

I don’t even have another trip planned until October — and, right now, it’s only 50/50 that it will happen.

This is the least I’ve ever traveled since I went on the road in 2006.

My friends had grown accustomed to me popping in and out of their lives. Now they are getting used to the weirdness of having me around. It’s been nice to get texts asking what I’m doing and if I’m free again.

And you know what?

I love my non-nomadic life.

I think settling down has stuck this time around because I’m ready to finally do so. As I said in a blog post earlier this year, I finally became OK with the fact that life changes, situations change, and your desires change.

Moving on doesn’t mean abandoning who you were.

I kept traveling as a way to hold on to the past. I couldn’t let go of the image I had in my head of life on the road and all it symbolized: freedom, adventure, meeting new people, and a lack of responsibilities.

It was all very fun — and I didn’t want to grow up. I had made a life around traveling and, in a case of irony, I couldn’t leave my comfort zone.

To me, doing so would negate all the hard work I had done. It would be admitting defeat. It would be like death.

But trees don’t grow because they blow in the wind; they grow because they have roots.

And accepting that if I really wanted to lead the life I wanted — one of routine and presence — that I would need roots was a huge shift in my mindset.

I love my routine: the daily writing, working on this website, sleeping in my own bed, cooking breakfast, going to the gym, seeing friends regularly, dating, and just being in one place and not tired all the time.

Don’t get me wrong: I love travel and still want to see countless places around the world. I roam the guidebook aisle in my bookstore, dreaming of where I might go next. I search flight deals each day. I imagine myself in far-off tropical lands and picture the people I’d meet there.

Yet I’m OK with “going tomorrow.”

After so many years on the road, these last few months at home have taught me that my nomadic ways are truly over.

As I sip tea at a café where the barista knows what I want when I walk in the door, I’m perfectly content where I am.

I’ve seen a lot of the world.

I’ve had incredible experiences.

But, right now, it’s time to just enjoy the simplicity and pleasure that comes with staying in one place for more than a few days.

The rest of the world can wait a bit longer.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
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Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay elsewhere, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates. (Here’s the proof.)

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
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Why this Independent Backpacking Nomad is Going Cruising

Posted: 06/14/2012 | June 14th, 2012

A lot of people hate cruises. “Oversized boats filled with oversized people.” There’s a particular disdain for them among backpackers and other “real” travelers. “Cruises aren’t travel,” people say. “You don’t get to experience the local culture. You don’t get to explore the places you visit. You’re shuttled from place to place in pre-fabricated tours in gigantic groups.” Cruises are considered fake travel for people who want to pretend they’re traveling some place without having to do any actual traveling.

I’ve been on three cruises my entire life. The first was when I was 16 and went with my family around the Caribbean. I remember going to Cozumel, Mexico, and sneaking off to drink Kahlúa on the beach. (Sorry, Mom and Dad. I guess you had to find out sometime!)

The next cruise was a Dave Matthews Cruise with some friends (I’m a huge Dave Matthews fan). It was three days to the Bahamas and watching Dave Matthews Band play on a boat. It was epic.

My last cruise was five years ago. I went with my family up the inside passage of Alaska. It was gorgeous seeing glaciers, and I even got to see killer whales chase, kill, and eat a porpoise. The whole trip was a lot of fun.

I love cruises for the same reason that everyone else hates them: because cruises are not travel.

A cruise is an adult playground on the sea. It’s like Las Vegas except on water. It’s a giant buffet, pool, random activities, tall glasses of fruity drinks, and sheer gluttony. It’s bacchanalian fun.

A cruise is a vacation.

To me, the definition of travel is going out, exploring, and learning about the world and the cultures that inhabit it. It’s about discovery. A vacation, on the other hand, is simply a break from day-to-day life where you can relax and not do anything.

And I think that distinction is often missed by the cruise haters. Getting away from home doesn’t always have to be about exploring unknown lands, trekking through primordial forest, or navigating the bus system of Calcutta. No, sometimes all you want to do is relax. You don’t want to deal with anything or plan anything. You want a break. You want to shut your mind off for a bit.

If you view a cruise as travel, you’re going to be disappointed. If you view it as a vacation, then I think it’s easier to accept the Disney-like atmosphere of it all.

After all, all travel serves a purpose.

So, next week, I’ll be going on a Royal Caribbean cruise with my friend Jason, my intention being to just sit by the pool, cocktail in hand, and work on my tan. I plan to gain 10 pounds at the buffet and then work it off at the gym. I’m going to mini-golf on a boat and sleep late. I’m going to keep my computer closed.

I am going on vacation.

And I’m really looking forward to it. I could use a break. I’m a bit burnt out. Between three conferences in the last month, my final book edits, traveling back and forth from Asia, a tour in Japan, running this website, and just trying to live life, I’m frazzled.

A lot of people think travel and what I do is a 24/7 vacation. It’s not. It takes work trying to figure out your way around the world. It’s fun work — but it’s still work. Throw in running a business on top of that, and you find yourself running nonstop from dawn until the wee hours of the morning. It drains you, especially when you do it 365 days per year.

So, tired and exhausted, I’m going on vacation to recharge my batteries.

I’ll admit that it’s been a long time since I’ve been on a cruise. I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never been an adult on a normal cruise just trying to relax and be a “tourist.” This is new territory for me.

I may hate it. I already know that I’m not looking forward to the land excursions. I hate those things. I see them around Europe, and it’s just a large mass of people. Try seeing the Acropolis in Athens when 937,439,282,349 tour groups from the cruise ship are also there. It’s aggravating. I plan to make my own ship excursions.

Moreover, I’m going on the largest boat in the world — the Oasis of the Seas — and I may find that to be just too large and too overwhelming. Who can say? All I know right now is that I’m giddy with excitement about my vacation.

But I’m not going to pretend that a cruise is anything more than it really is: a vacation. It’s a week where your mind can shut down, someone else can plan your life, and your only concern is what time the buffet starts.

Because we all need a vacation sometime.

So that is why this intrepid nomad is taking a cruise — and who knows, I may even enjoy myself.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines. Start with Momondo.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. I never ever go on a trip without it. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. You should too.

Need Some Gear?
Check out our resource page for the best companies to use!

And Then, I Didn’t Move to Stockholm…

Posted: 08/13/2012 | August 13th, 2012

Remember how I’ve been talking about moving to Sweden since the beginning of the year? Remember when I moved to Stockholm last month? Even though it was only going to be for a few months, I was very excited to relocate to Sweden. I mean, it’s beautiful, it’s clean, the people are nice (and beautiful), the quality of life is great, and did I mention the people here are beautiful? Plus, I was looking forward to learning Swedish, having my own kitchen, and joining a gym.

Well, as you can probably guess from the title of this blog post, I’m not moving to Stockholm anymore.

What happened?

I became the latest victim of Sweden’s crappy housing system. In Sweden, they don’t build apartments to meet demand, so there are always more people who want a place than places exist. This is especially true in Stockholm since most people want to live here. For Swedes, if you want to rent a place, you have to get on a list. There’s also a minimum number of points you need, which determines your place on the list. Or the type of place you can get.

I’m not really sure.

It’s all very confusing. I have no idea how Swedes “get” points. I just know that miracles are usually involved. One of my friends had her sister rent an apartment for her because her sister had “points.” One of the girls who works at my hostel just put herself and her fiancé on this list. They’ll be first in line to get the next available place 15 years from now. It’s so bad, people will put their newborns on the list so they can have an apartment by the time they become adults.

Why is it this way? No idea. Even the Swedes complain about it, and they seem to be at a loss to explain the system to me. “It’s just the way it is,” they say. The right-leaning, more market-based party doesn’t want to change the laws any time soon either. Add the fact that Stockholm doesn’t build new places to meet demand, and you have a recipe for a city with no housing. Sure, this keeps the city old and historic, but it’s a pain the ass. I don’t understand why they don’t throw up some high-rises on the outskirts of town where people might not notice so much.

This housing crunch leads to a huge secondary market, where the owner rents their place out to others at a much higher price. Sometimes the renter then turns around and rents it to someone else for even more money!

So that’s the first problem I’m facing.

The second is that I’m only here until November, and most apartments want a longer commitment than that. (Or they only want a month, and I have no desire to be on the constant hunt for a new apartment every month.) Third, I’m not Swedish, and I think that hurts too, though I can’t prove it.

Over the last month, I’ve found a few places, but they were either too short-term or too expensive, or the owners fell through.

One of the reasons I wanted to move to Stockholm is because I want to settle down, have some roots, build a routine, go to the gym, and do all that other “normal” stuff people do. But after a month here, I find myself in stasis. I’m not moving forward, and without a firm place to live, I don’t want to put money into a gym or Swedish classes.

And with time wasting away, I decided that it’s better to just move on. It’s disappointing, but I can’t sit around forever. Some of my Swedish friends spend months looking for an apartment before they find one. I don’t have that luxury. While it would have been nice to be here, I take comfort in the fact that I tried. I didn’t take the easy road and stay in New York. I took a chance. When you break out of your comfort zone, that’s always a success — no matter what the outcome.

I have no regrets.

On September 2, I’m flying to Portugal for a few weeks before going to Spain. I have two conferences in September: one in Portugal, another in Spain. After that, I’ll head to southern France and then Copenhagen. I have a flight booked to the United States on October 10. I haven’t decided if I’ll be on it or if I’ll change the dates, but for now, I’m going to do a little traveling.

I’m looking forward to putting down some roots, but it looks like that’s just going to have to wait a bit longer. On the flip side, it looks like I’m heading home sooner than expected.

And I’m really OK with that.

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Book Your Trip to Sweden: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight to Sweden by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines. Start with Momondo.

Book Your Accommodation
My favorite places to stay in Stockholm are City Backpackers and Skanstulls Hostel. To book another hostel in Sweden, use Hostelworld. If you want to stay elsewhere, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates. (Here’s the proof.)

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. I never ever go on a trip without it. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. You should too.

Need Some Gear?
Check out our resource page for the best companies to use!

Want More Information on Sweden?
Be sure to visit our robust destination guide on Sweden for even more planning tips!

19 Travel Goals to Accomplish Before 35

Posted: 08/20/2013 | August 20th, 2013

Back in June, as I was reflecting on another birthday, I looked at a very, very old version of my website and spotted a list of travel goals I’d written. I’d forgotten about that list. As I made changes to the site, I had moved the list around, eventually removed it, put it back, and then put it aside for later use. But like so many lists I write, I had forgotten it in the dust bin of my mind.

But seeing that list again made me think about how five years ago I had all these lofty travel goals — and they sort of sputtered out. To be fair, I’ve done some amazing things in the last five years (Galápagos Islands? Check! La Tomatina? Check! Learn to scuba dive? Check! Oktoberfest? Double steins of beer? Double check!), but seeing all those uncompleted goals made me a little sad.

Now, I hate bucket lists — as if there’s some set number of activities to enjoy in the world in order to die happy. I think that’s crap. Life changes and so do your goals and desires. The bucket list you write when you’re 20 is not the same one you write at 40. If I wrote a bucket list 10 years ago, it wouldn’t include 90% of the things I’ve done with my life.

But as I reflect on that long lost list, I think after five years, it’s time for a new list. Mostly because I love lists (I make at least one a day) but also because it would be good to collect and refocus my thoughts.

As a nomad, there’s nowhere in the world I don’t want to see at some point, but there are definite things I want to do and places I want to see sooner rather than later.

So instead of writing a bucket list, I’m writing my travel priorities for the next three years in order to better focus and have some goals to strive for.

Safari in East Africa

This is one of the things I want most in the world, but I’m only going to make this trek with someone else. As I discovered in Africa, such beauty is best not seen alone, and a long safari around the region will be on hold until I find someone to go with.

Hike the Inca Trail

I can barely hike up my stairs without getting winded (I need to follow more of Steve’s advice!), but the thought of hiking this ancient path, setting sight on Machu Picchu, and wondering how the hell they managed to build a city on a mountain top (and maybe even getting photobombed by a llama) is too appealing to pass up.

See the World Cup

I’m a huge soccer fan, and the World Cup just seems like a crazy party you can’t miss. I got into the sport when I began traveling around the world, and knowing Latin America’s obsession with the sport, I can only imagine how great it will be next year. Brazil 2014, here I come!

Spend 4–5 months backpacking South America

I’ll be tying my World Cup goal into what will be my next major trip. I don’t like piecemeal travel, and I’d rather explore this entire region in one go, so despite my attempts at slowing down and becoming more settled, New York City will take a brief backseat to South America next spring while I roam the continent.

See Antarctica

Penguins, glaciers, and whales, oh my!

Spend a month living in the Seychelles

These islands are what my version of heaven would look like, so why not spend a cold winter month there soaking in the sun? Sounds perfectly fine to me.

Climb to Everest base camp

Given my general out-of-shapeness, this is going to be a real challenge, but one I will prepare for and embrace.

Sail along the Amazon and explore the heart of the rainforest

Because ever since I saw photos of this river, I’ve felt the need to satiate my inner Indiana Jones and explore this vast, wild, sometimes uncharted, out-of-the-way region.

See the Northern Lights

Because it’s too beautiful to pass up!

Take the Trans-Siberian Railway

I’ve always dreamed of this long train journey, and my desire has only increased since Katie wrote about her trip. This long, rustic train ride also appeals to me, because in the age of the Internet, travel has gotten too easy and there’s no Internet here to rely on. It’s just you and your travel skills.

Cruise around the Pacific Islands

Because Torre made me jealous, and I think it would be pretty fun to pretend I’m Robinson Crusoe. Sailing the islands is difficult to accomplish, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

Spend a week in Borobudur trying to figure out the meaning of life

Borobudur is a Buddhist temple in Indonesia whose winding walkway is lined with reliefs of Buddhist teachings. The higher up you get, the harder the reliefs become. Monks were supposed to figure out the meaning of each relief before moving on. When you’ve made it to the top, you’ve unlocked all the Buddha’s teachings. That’s a challenge I accept.

Walk the Camino de Santiago

Can I walk across Spain? I don’t know, but it will be fun to try. I’ve heard so many good stories about this trip that even if I only make it halfway, I think I’ll enjoy it.

See Petra, Jordan

Ever since I saw Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade as a kid, I’ve always wanted to visit this historic site. Many of my friends have visited and come back with wonderful stories of not only Petra but of Jordan too. I just have to remember that the cup can’t cross the seal or we’re all doomed (Indiana Jones reference).

Travel to the Arctic and see polar bears

I can’t see one pole without seeing the other. It’s only fair, right? Plus, I want to see these amazing animals before they go extinct.

Spend three months in India

Because it’s too big and interesting to spend any less time here. I just don’t feel a short trip would do the country justice.

Learn about wine in France

I’m a wino, and it would be fascinating to learn about the complexities of what I’m drinking. Is that a hint of raspberry in there? Why yes, it is!

Sail around the Caribbean

Just call me Captain Nomadic Jack Sparrow.

Visit Morocco

This country has been on my must-see list for far too long. I love Moroccan food, the kasbahs seem amazing, and a camel ride in the desert is just what the doctor ordered.

Will I get to all of these by the time I’m 35? I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not. But I plan to refer to this often as a way to check in and keep myself on track. If I only accomplish these 19 things in the next three years, I will have done a lot, expanded the places I’ve seen in the world, and be one very, very happy nomad.

So here’s to goals and making them happen!