Why Going Home Does Not Mean Failure

Posted: 08/12/2013 | August 12th, 2013

“You’re going home?” I asked her as we sat in the hostel’s common room.

“Yeah, I really miss my boyfriend and family. This long-term travel thing just isn’t for me. I’ve cut my trip short and will be going home in a few weeks.”

“Wow!” I replied. “Well, it’s important to do what makes you happy. At the very least, traveling taught you something about what you do and do not like. That’s a win.”

And, with that, we moved on with the conversation.

She, like many others I’ve met on the road, headed back home, not in defeat, but victorious, content in the knowledge they discovered more about themselves.

When I began my travels, a million and one fears and worst-case scenarios went through my mind. What if I can’t make it? What if I can’t find friends? What if I get so lost I can’t find my way back? What if I get sick? What if I run out of money?

What if, what if, what if!

Thanks to the many emails I get, I know those thoughts go through the minds of others too.

Many of those “what ifs” keep people from going on the road. We can become so paralyzed by our fear of failure that we forget that all those fears don’t matter because no matter what happens, we can always come home.

It’s OK to say, “You know what? I miss my home, I miss my friends, I hate hostels, and it turns out my idea of travel involves moving from one luxury resort to the next.”

The most important thing is that you tried and you learned.

I had no idea long-term travel would work for me. My original trip was only for a year, and I could have decided to come home three months in.

But here I am, seven years later, still in love with travel. I would have never known if I didn’t ignore my fears and try.

We can give in to fear, the “what ifs,” and the worry, and instead stay safe at home. Or you can head out the door and try.

Who cares if you decide to cut your trip short? Who cares if you think “this life isn’t for me?” You travel for yourself. You do this for you.

When I decided last year that after over six years of almost constantly being on the move, it was time to settle down and create roots somewhere, a lot of people emailed me, expressing sadness that I had “given up” traveling.

But times — and people — change. I had nothing to prove by continuing to travel when my desires lay elsewhere. Travel is a personal experience and at the end of the day, how you feel about it is the only thing that matters. I still believe life on the road is amazing — but sometimes I want to head off that road for a while and sit in front of my TV watching a movie.

So if you’ve been thinking about traveling but worry you can’t make it a full year around the world or that you might not have the skills to travel, I say to you: Who cares? You can always head home if you want.

So what if you can’t make it? What if others think that? I say it doesn’t matter.

Because returning home is not a failure.

Travel teaches us about ourselves and makes us better people. Deciding to come home simply means travel taught you something about yourself you wouldn’t have known otherwise — that extended travel is not for you.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

Take a chance.

Because the path back will always be there, but the path forward might not.

So travel and learn something about yourself.

Even if what you learn is you’d rather be home.

7 Awesome Things to Do in Tofo, Mozambique

Every month, Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes a guest column featuring tips and advice on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other solo female travelers! Here she is with another awesome article!

Mozambique isn’t a country on the typical backpacker trail. It’s rumored to be difficult and dangerous, but much like the rest of Africa, it’s misunderstood and prone to myth.

Before I went to Africa, and Mozambique in particular, people told me to “be careful.”

Yet I came to find that once I got to Mozambique, most of what I heard was wrong. Yes, it was somewhat difficult to travel through, with long bus journeys and overfilled minivans. And yes, I had to keep my wits about me because that’s always important when you travel solo, but for the most part the beaches were beautiful, the piri piri seafood was delicious, and the fact that it’s not a tourist hotspot made it peaceful, too.

It’s also affordable. Mozambique is the only country I’ve been to where I didn’t have to pay double to have a bungalow to myself as a solo traveler. It’s one of few places where I could buy a coconut for around ten cents, a mango for five cents, and a whole fish big enough to feed three people for around $6 USD.

There are also a bunch of fun and interesting things to do in Mozambique that you can’t do anywhere else, especially in a destination as cheap and uncrowded as Tofo.

1. Go scuba diving

Tofo is home to many famous scuba diving spots known for sightings of big sea creatures. Whales, dolphins, whale sharks, and manta rays are all known to frequent the warm, nutrient-rich waters of Mozambique.

You’re also unlikely to have to battle with other divers for the best sites. There are only a couple of diving outfits in Tofo, such as Tofo Scuba, which charges around $30 USD per tank. This means that if you spot a whale shark under the water, there won’t be hundreds of other tourists jumping in the water with you like in the Maldives and the Philippines.

2. Find hidden enclaves

Tofo is the only beach destination I have ever visited where tourism actually appeared to be on the decline. Usually, I visit a beach and then find it’s completely ruined when I return a few years later, overrun with tourists. Mozambique is different for a few reasons, namely the difficulty of traveling there and the lack of general information available about it.

That means that the people who you do meet there are usually really interesting travelers. They might be Peace Corps volunteers on their summer break, people from Australia or the States who work in agriculture, South Africans, or other travelers who were already in Africa and got there by word of mouth. The beaches are still beautiful, the sand is still clean, and the locals aren’t jaded yet. To me, that’s the perfect kind of place.

3. Make local friends

Mozambicans are friendly. Those who can speak English are almost always interested in hanging out with foreigners, and sometimes you can enjoy a heartwarming experience as a result.

Pictured above are Orlando and Nate. Nate is an American guy who decided to invite Orlando on his trip through Mozambique after learning that Orlando had never left his village. The relationship between the two was mutually beneficial, as Nate got to have a more local travel experience and Orlando finally got to see his own country.

When I heard about it, this kind of thing didn’t surprise me, because locals were showing me around Mozambique all the time, as well as taking me to late-night dance parties and art galleries.

4. Take a boat trip to the offshore islands

Boat trips are a fun and cheap way to fill an afternoon in Mozambique. In Tofo, you can usually organize one with a local or through your hostel with a group of friends for around $30 USD per person. It’s as easy as just asking the question: chances are good that someone will know someone who has a boat and can take you. It’s the way Tofo works.

The boats are simple, with sideways sails and rudders made out of old wood. It won’t be fancy, but it will be beautiful. Bring your own beer, sit back, and enjoy.

5. Ride a quad bike through the sand dunes

When you rent a quad bike in Tofo, you can take it through some of the small villages (and by small, I mean 5-10 grass huts) in the sand dunes behind the beach. Kids run out and either wave or decide to be little rascals and try to grab onto the back of the quad bike as you ride by.

You can find all kinds of little enclaves and beaches that aren’t accessible directly from the beach in Tofo itself, or you can finally give yourself a ride to the ATM, which is otherwise a 30-minute walk away.

6. Relax all darn day

Truth be told, most days in Tofo I just relaxed all darn day in a hammock, in a pool, in the ocean, or on the beach. It isn’t expensive, with a beer running just under $2 USD, a plate of seafood anywhere from $6 USD for barracuda or prawns to $12 USD for a whole lobster, and a private bungalow on the beach around $15 USD.

It’s the perfect place to just lounge for weeks and listen to music with friends in between dips in the ocean and sunset walks — without feeling guilty for spending a fortune.

7. Hitch a boleia

A common way of getting around Mozambique is to hitchhike, called a boleia in Portuguese. Tofo isn’t big, but if you want to get to the ATM, which is a bit of a walk, a ride is much quicker and more fun, too!

I took a few boleias that were somehow just as relaxing as laying on the beach — I sat in the back of a pickup truck and watched as we passed little villages with grass huts and hundreds of trees heavy with mango fruit. Some boleias are even boats.

They’re easy to get. You just have to make sure you’re at a logical intersection in order to get a ride. Ask around before you give it a try, so as to get some intel from the locals.

A note on boleias: I can’t recommend this as a solo traveler, especially if you don’t speak any Portuguese, and in general I can’t say this is the safest method of traveling, but, as mentioned, it’s common in “Moz” and the way that I, personally, usually got around. 

I’m glad that despite the mostly negative information I encountered about Mozambique, I listened to the few people who told me that it was a wonderful place worth exploring. I’m glad that I saw it for myself, and I’m excited to share it with you now.

Just because a destination isn’t as well known doesn’t mean it can’t be wonderful. If you have a chance to go to Mozambique, take it, and come back and let me know how it treated you!

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost nothing she won’t try and almost nowhere she won’t explore. You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Conquering Mountains: The Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over twenty interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book, how it can help you, and you can start reading it today!

You Can’t Win If You Don’t Play

Looking back, what I remember the most about my life in the cubicle was the utter boredom. Back before I started traveling, I worked in hospital administration: first in inpatient assistance (I was the guy that greeted patient families when they came onto the units) and then in the administration office of the surgery department. There were five people in my office (all older than me), and I spent most of my days on MySpace and Friendster or reading the news. (When I came back from my first trip in 2008 and returned to the world of hospital administration, it was the boredom and large amount of downtime that led me to create my website.)

Back then, every day felt the same — and I felt stale and uninspired.

“What am I doing wrong?” I would wonder. “After all, I work, go to the gym, go out on the weekends, and have good friends and hobbies. Isn’t this the dream?”

But something was missing. A piece of the puzzle wasn’t there. I felt like the guy from the movie Office Space. My mother used to say it was because I was in a job I didn’t love. Once I found a passion, “work would be more than work.”

It turned out she was right.

But I don’t buy into the idea that “you can find your passion” by sitting down with a pen and paper and thinking, “OK, I’m going to write down my passion and just do that.”

I think you stumble onto your passion.

You go out and live life and then realize: “this is the thing that lights my fire the most.”

Years ago, I knew a girl in Thailand whose uncle fell terribly ill. He was in the hospital in Bangkok, and we were all unsure if he would make it. My friend, a former marketing manager from NYC, realized while she was caring for her uncle that that was what she was passionate about. When her trip was over, instead of going back to her old job, she went to school to become a nurse.

My friend Matt recently got into gardening. He and his wife love growing their own food. With every new season, he finds himself more drawn to farming issues, land use, and gardening, and less interested in his law practice. So much so that, after his wife finishes her doctorate, they are looking for a town for her to teach in where they can buy a farm and he can become a farmer.

The same happened to me. Once I started traveling, I found out that what I wanted to live for was travel. That was my passion.

When I first started traveling, everyone thought I was crazy for giving up on the American dream. But I had discovered that the American dream didn’t fit in with me. I was a circle trying to fit into a square hole. While there are many people who are fine with office work from 9 to 5, I realized am not one of those people.

It’s when we start living our life that we find the stuff we love doing.

If you are unhappy or daydream your life away but want amazing things, you have to make a change. You have to get out there.

You can’t win the game of life if you don’t play it.

Sitting at home watching Netflix isn’t going to change anything. You won’t lose weight if you don’t work out. You won’t meet people if you stay at home. You won’t find your mate if you never go on a date. You’ll never know if you can do more if you don’t push yourself.

Life happens outside your door. And it is something you have to participate in!

The day I quit my job was the day I moved closer to living the life I wanted. When I started my blog, I took another step forward.

Every day I take one more step — from reading 10 minutes longer, to cooking dinner, to signing up for archery classes (the Hunger Games are coming), to biting the bullet and booking that cheap flight I found.

My life isn’t going to change unless I make it happen.

Neither will yours.

And then once you stumble upon what it is you love, pursue it with vigor……because there’s nothing worse than a wasted dream!

Dwyane Wade Can't Give You Packing Tips (His Stylist Does It for Him) — but He Can Give You the Ultimate Carry-on Bag

Courtesy of Away

Though three-time NBA champion Dwyane Wade is best known for his incredible basketball career, he has also become known for his impeccable style (having his beautiful wife Gabrielle Union on his side doesn't hurt either). So it makes sense that the Miami Heat guard, best-selling author, and entrepreneur — he has designed ensembles for Dsquared2, invested in STANCE socks, and in addition to endorsements with Amazon and Gatorade has his own production company — has now moved into the travel space for a collaboration with popular luggage brand Away.

In June, Wade debuted a matte black version of Away's aluminum suitcases as sleek and sophisticated as his style, and the second installment of the collaboration launches today. It includes a two-tone blue suitcase and several smart accessories for ambitious travelers everywhere – from PVC packing cubes to a sleek, pebbled leather Dopp kit. After all a man this busy is bound to be on the go a lot, but that doesn't mean style has to be sacrificed.

Between collaborating with Chance the Rapper and considering the purchase of his own NBA team, Wade chatted with Travel + Leisure about his travel style.

Travel + Leisure: What’s the one thing you cannot travel without?

DW: "My iPhone."

What’s your favorite carry-on bag?

"Funny you should ask... It’s my Away x Dwyane Wade Aluminum Matte Black Bigger Carry On"

You are a very stylish guy. Do you have an airplane uniform?

"A sweat suit since I opt for comfort when traveling. I prefer hooded sweatshirts so I can cover my face when sleeping. But let’s be clear here, they are still stylish sweat suits."

What do you always order to eat/drink on a plane?

"Water, it is important to hydrate, especially as an athlete."

What would you never eat on a plane?

"Sloppy Joes."

Is there a certain pair of shoes you always pack?

"My WOW Essence Lifestyle sneaker, which are multi-purpose."

Do you try to keep up with your workout regimen when you are traveling so much or do you give yourself a break?

"I take a short break when the season is over then go back to it. I love to eat so working out has to be part of my diet."

What’s your packing philosophy?

"I don't pack. My stylist does and she gives me a lot of options. I like options! Next year I am going to try to only use a carry-on when traveling."

What’s the best vacation you’ve ever taken?

"This is such a hard question, because I go on some amazing trips with amazing people. If I had to pick the best I would say Italy with Gab and my son Zion. You want to give your kids the world and that starts by showing them the world."

What’s the best hotel you’ve ever stayed at?

"The Peninsula Paris."

What’s the one place that surprised you?

"China. No matter how many times you go you can always find something new."

What’s the one place you’ve never been to, but you’ve always wanted to visit?

"It’s a toss-up between Thailand and Fiji."

Away x Dwyane Wade Suitcase

Courtesy of Away

To buy: awaytravel.com, from $225

Away x Dwyane Wade Dopp Kit

Courtesy of Away

To buy: awaytravel.com, $150

Away x Dwyane Wade Duffel Pack

Courtesy of Away

To buy: awaytravel.com, $350

Away x Dwyane Wade Packing Cubes

Courtesy of Away

To buy: awaytravel.com, from $25

You Can’t Join This Exclusive Club Until You’ve Been to 100 Countries (Video)

A globe-spanning Instagram feed may be considered the benchmark for being well traveled in 2017, but for the ultimate travel bragging rights, there’s the Travelers’ Century Club.

Billed as the world’s most elite travel community, the club is made up exclusively of people who have visited more than 100 countries — no small feat considering there are only 195 sovereign countries on Earth as defined by the U.S. Department of State.

Luckily for those interested, the club's definition of a country is quite broad, and has expanded to include 325 destinations like Prince Edward Island (a Canadian province) and Alaska (the U.S. state).

The club dates back to 1954, when it was founded in Los Angeles by a small group of world travelers, and has since expanded into a community of 1,400 members hailing from all around the globe.

Once admitted, members have access to a network of travelers with rare knowledge about little-known locales around the world. Want to know the best way to cross the treacherous waters surrounding the Pitcairn Islands? Or what to do if you find yourself in the middle of the Namib Desert with a flat tire? Travelers’ Century Club members can answer those questions and many more during regular in-person meet-ups.

Related: This Gorgeous Town in the Swiss Alps Will Pay You to Live There

Other member perks include organized travel excursions; educational seminars; social events across the 21 club chapters worldwide; access to exclusive guides that detail the world’s more difficult-to-reach destinations; as well as a membership card, certificate, and pin.

To apply, simply fill out the application form, tick off each of the 100 countries you’ve visited, and pay the $100 initiation fee. And just like that, you’ve got instant jet-set status.

Can’t Travel With a Local? These City Guides Are the Next Best Thing

This past March, I visited Copenhagen with a friend who had lived in the city. She introduced me to Danish friends and showed me her favorite bars, jazz clubs, restaurants, and museums. By the time the week was over, I felt I had a mental Rolodex of places in Copenhagen to pass along if anyone asked where the city’s hidden gems were.

At STORM Denmark on Strøget, Copenhagen’s pedestrian shopping district, I picked up a copy of “LOST iN Copenhagen,” an indie travel guide curated by local artists and writers, featuring interviews, reviews, and personal essays. Surprisingly, the recommendations in the book were consistent with my friend’s recommendations and many of the places we visited appeared in the book. “That’s a good sign,” LOST iN co-founder Joseph Djenandji tells me over the phone. Since the brand’s launch in 2013, it has published guides to 20 cities, many of which are in the process of being updated as cities change.

“The basic concept was trying to mimic the kind of experience you get when you’re visiting a friend in a foreign city,” Djenandji explains. He and co-founder Uwe Hasenfuss — who were at the time working for Groupon based in Berlin and Paris, respectively — had been visiting Chicago when they couldn't find a travel guide to the city from a local’s perspective. Given Djenandji’s product background and Hasenfuss’s editorial experience, they decided to fill the market’s void.

Related: The Best Gifts for Travelers Under $10

To produce a LOST iN guide, Djenandji and Hasenfuss reach out to locals they feel could contribute a unique perspective and contract a local journalist who acts as the eyes and ears of the brand by conducting interviews and evaluating the quality of the recommendations by visiting the locations firsthand.

“We started off just interviewing our friends,” Djenandji says, but they now build out the guides based on locals’ fields of expertise. For example, an artist in, say, San Francisco would talk about the city’s gallery scene, while a sommelier would discuss restaurants. “The challenge here really is getting different people,” Djenandji said. “Because if you interview the same [types of] people, you’ll get the same recommendations, so it’s important to interview people from different backgrounds and different parts of the city.” Nowadays, the process is more streamlined. “We just reach out and ask people online, so our research is more the research of people than the research of locations.”

Related: The Airbnb You Should Rent Based on Your Zodiac Sign

One might think these off-the-beaten-path venues would be averse to being featured in any sort of travel guide, but Djenandji says most have been pleased to attract tourists who are genuinely curious about their offerings. “It’s not a big bus that arrives in front of the location with a guide, it’s usually one person or a couple, so it’s not very invasive tourism.”

That said, there are a few places that shun travel guides altogether. “You do have these small bars in Berlin who are really against gentrification, and they don’t like being presented in city guides, but usually it’s quite positive feedback.”

Right now, the brand is working on publishing a Tel Aviv guide and travelers can expect to see a stronger online presence and platform for digital-only content in the future. Djenandji hopes the digital expansion will allow the brand to cover smaller cities and promote vibrant, under-the-radar travel blogs like Berlin’s Cee Cee.

“What we’re trying to do now is create a platform for these local blogs to export themselves internationally and to become relevant on an international level,” Djenandji says, because as we travelers know, there's always more to discover.

You can shop some of LOST iN's most popular guides below or at lostin.com.